Not So Happy New Year

I purposely chose not to do a 2010 recap. I have several reasons for it but it is mostly because I have not been feeling well emotionally and mentally. I have been in a funk and I cannot seem to find a light.

A lot of great things happened in 2010 and I am very grateful for all the little things that make life worth living. However, a lot of unnecessary drama occurred the last two weeks of the year that have made me bitter. I have had much worse years in my life but I have also had much better years.

I know that I should not start 2011 on such a bitter note but I cannot help it. I need some time to come to terms with things and find a way to swim. I have so many things to be upset about but I also have so many things to be happy about. In the spirit of being cliche, I do have a very short list of goals that I want to accomplish for 2011. Here they are:

1. Find physical, mental and emotional well being--
-meaning lose weight, stop being miserable, and just generally smile more often. I also want to take better care of my skin and my hair, take vitamins, use good quality, organic products like soap, lotion, start using make up. I want to generally improve my outer appearance as well as my inner one.

2. Take more risks--
-do the things I hold myself back from because I am not comfortable or because I am scared

3. Live for myself--
-stop putting others first and focus on myself and my needs. I have learned that nobody else is gonna put me first but me.

4. Find happiness in my career...or find another career--
-self explanatory...I hate my job

5. Accomplish one life long, unrealistic dream, big or small--
-I want to convince myself that dreams do come true, no matter how ridiculous they may seem

I look forward to putting 2010 behind and moving on. I want this to be the year where things finally start to make sense for me. I want this to be the year where I can finally say I am happy.