Sweet Dreams

I have been in such a hormonal and self deprecating mood this past week. It's utterly pathetic and I hate myself for hating myself. Its a vicious cycle that traps me every month when its almost time for my "monthly visitor." What is the point of menstruating if one has no desire to procreate?

Anyways, I have also been hating my job more and more each day. I dream of other things I could be doing. All things that involve courage and money...and I dont seem to have either of these things. One of the things I dream about, while at my boring job, is to run a cupcake shop. I would be immersed in the smell of sugary sweetness all day. I would wake up early and bake batches of dozens of cupcakes and I would top them all with cool frosting colors and little decorations. I would make cupcake cakes for people who order them and I would test out different cupcake/frosting combinations daily.

The venue where I would run this cupcake shop will be this little rundown place that I gut and remodel from scratch. It would be cool and funky, yet elegant and modern all at once. I would want to do be located in a small town where they have never heard of such a thing as a cupcake shop. I would know all my customer by name and they would stop in on Sunday afternoons for a treat. I would make cupcake cakes for every occassion in town and then I would eventually add other features to my shop, like cakes, cookies, and drinks such as hot chocolate with cinnamon sticks and whipped cream and peach sweet tea with mint leaves.

And then reality smacks me in the face and I realize how pathetically unrealistic I am being. All these dreams are, were, and always will be just that: DREAMS. But would it be wrong of me to hope?