Seasons Come and Seasons Go

Wow, I have truly neglected this blog. I don't write nearly as much as I did when I first started this thing. I guess life has gotten way busier since then and also, I don't really have followers so there isnt anybody waiting for a post from me. I write for myself really

I really don't have much to update since my life has been pretty consistent the past several months. I swim in the stress of work, planning my wedding, family time, new obsessions and just the everyday things in life. I am still continuing my healthier lifestyle and couldn't be happier about it. I am seeing results and I feel good everyday, despite my lack of sleep.

Also, fall is upon is. This is my most favorite, favorite time of year. I absolutely love everything about the fall..the colors, scents, food, fashion, weather, everything. I remember I used to make lists on things to accomplish/do with every season. I think I'm gonna start doing that again, with my fall list being the first one. So here is the list I came up with of things to do this season:

1. Apple picking

2. Infuse fall scents into my home (pumpkin, apple, cinnamon)

3. Pumpkin coffee/lattes

4. Take more walks

5. Museum visits

6. Get fall fashion items (boots, jackets, sweaters,etc)

7. Try a new fall inspired recipe (pumpkin, apples, etc)

8. Fall cleaning/apartment makeover

9. Crochet a new hat/scarf for the coming winter

10. Watch new seasons of The Vampire Diaries, The Walking Dead and Dexter!

Is it sad that I am most excited about #3 and #10?

The Holidays Are a Comin'!

Today is Halloween. I dont know about anyone else, but this is my least favorite holiday of the year. Actually, let me be completely honest. I HATE Halloween, I really do. Mostly, it's because everything on TV is about haunted this and haunted that. All the horror movies get played. Everything is about ghosts, vampires, witches, etc. I am the biggest wuss on the planet. I cannot deal with things that involve paranormal events. It is foolishly one of my biggest fears...I just cannot deal with things that I cant see or control.

The only good thing about this time of year is that Thanksgving is closer. I decided I wanted to have Thanksgiving dinner in my new apartment this year. It's big enough for my whole family to fit. This way, all drama can be avoided because I will kick people out of my apartment if they dont act right. My mom can cook the turkey in my place and I'll make all the side dishes if she wants. My focus is to make this holiday the least dramatic and the happiest as possible.

I am excited to provide a happy and safe environment for my niece and nephews this year and I want to make this a tradition for them, so they could love and look forward to this time of year. Hmm...maybe I'll make a good mom...isnt that a motherly to feel that way? I'm scaring myself

Beginning of Winter

As I had mentioned, it is starting to feel like winter. While I dont really like the cold, I have realized that I dont like the heat either. I am a fall and spring girl. Always inbetween two extremes.

It could also be that New York winters are just so unbearable. Maybe I would do better in a Georgia or Mississippi winter. Who knows?

In any case, I am welcoming the winter this year. For some reason, I am a little excited for it. I am in the mood to sip on hot chocolate while bundled in a nice warm blanked watching TV on my couch because I am snowed in. I have good winter memories. It was 2 winters ago that I took a 2 week vacation and just stayed home the whole time. I was snowed in most days so I did some reading and cleaning and it was just so great and relaxing. I loved it. I want to do it again this year.

But besides lounging around in a warm bundle, I also want to make sure I take advantage of winter activities. So, like I did for Fall, I am making a winter list. I think I am gonna do one for every season change and see how much I can accomplish. I like these lists because they give me a sense of purpose and some goals to attain. If it was up to me my goal this winter would be to catch every movie on Lifetime.

Here is my list, in no particular order:

Things To Do This Winter

1. Drink gingerbread flavored drinks (and eggnog and other cinnamon/pumpkin drinks and peppermint hot chocolates from Starbucks)

2. Make a gingerbread house

3. Build a snowman/make snow angels/snow ball fight

4. Go ice skating

5. Crochet a hat/scarf/mitten set

6. Get my Christmas shopping done early

7. Watch a play

8. Roast marshmallows

9. Go to the zoo or Botanical Garden

10. Concerts!

11. Put up Christmas lights

12. See a frozen lake

13. Take pictures of icicles on trees...take more pictures in general

14. Get a poinsettia plant and not kill it

15. Homemade bread

Let's see how this goes!

End of Autumn

My magic wand has officially passed away just shy of its 4 year mark. I am deeply saddened but have decided to purchase another one. The wand will always be with me in spirit. RIP

On a lighter note, it is starting to feel like winter. As crazy as this sounds, I am actually not bothered by this. I look forward to doing many winter-y things this year. I made a list for the fall and I was able to do most of the things on my list and I ended up adding things to it as well.

This is my complete fall list:

1. Take more walks-didnt get to do to much of this, but I still have some time to walk around
2. Take pictures of the trees and leave colors -Still have time, the leaves are more beautiful than ever at this very moment. Especially on the highways I take to work.
3. Collect twigs and leaves and make something out of it -Decided to skip this one
4. Drink lots of any warm liquid that is pumpkin flavored- I had several pumpkin spice lattes and also tried caramel apple latte, which was delicious
5. Infuse my home with autumn scents- Apple Cinnamon Glade plug ins!
6. Make pumpkin bread and sweet potatoe pies-Made pumpkin pancakes a few times. Still have time to make pies. I also made cinnamon bread, which is very autumn-y
7. Go to Farmers Markets- got some delicious organic sundried tomatoes
8. Go apple picking- had a blast! The apples were amazing. I tried a new porkchop recipe with them and it was so good. I also got apple cider, which was excellent (especially with some spiced Captain Morgan rum he he)
9. Go row boating in Central Park- :( didnt get a chance to do it and they close the lake in Nov , so I'll have to wait til next year.
10. Rake a pile of leaves and then jump in-most likely not gonna happen, I live in a building, but if I see a pile of leaves anywhere, I'm gonna jump in
11. Try new recipes-tried a new cupcake/frosting recipe which was disappointing. I also tried an apple and porkchop recipe that was great. I am proud to announce that I also made shepherd's pie and created a brownie recipe. Both were exquisite!
12. Go to the zoo-had a blast! I was like a kid in a candy store.
13. Haunted House Tour/Walk-Did one in NYC and it was so fun and informative.
14. Wear Autumn scents-Thanks to Bath and Body Work Pumpkin Cinnamon Spice
15. Have a picnic-I have always wanted to do this one, but looks like I'll have to wait for the Spring

So that was my Fall list. I am gonna make a winter list in another post. Let's see how much of that one I can accomplish

Seasons

I am so excited that it is September 1st today. Yes, time has flown by at alarming speed but I am excited because September means that it is almost Autumn!

I love this time of year passionately. It's not too warm (although its been over 90 degrees lately) but its not too cold. There is just a clean, crisp chill in the air. Perfect to have some hot chocolate or some apple cider or warm pumpkin spice coffee. I love the colors associated with Autumn-the bright burnt oranges and reds and the browns and dark yellows. I love the smells associated with this season-the pumpkin, nutmeg, cinnamon, hazelnut, etc. I absolutely love it!!!

I wish I could find a place where it was permanently fall. I think that would make me really happy. Since Fall only lasts like 2 months, I am going to take advantage of it this year. Here are 10 things I plan to do:

1. Take more walks

2. Take pictures of the trees and leave colors

3. Collect twigs and leaves and make something out of it

4. Drink lots of any warm liquid that is pumpkin flavored

5. Infuse my home with autumn smells

6. Make pumpkin bread and sweet potatoe pies

7. Go to Farmers Markets

8. Go apple picking

9. Go row boating in Central Park

10. Rake a pile of leaves and then jump in

I guess that's all I have for now. If anyone else has any other activities, I'd love to hear them.

It's A New Day....And I'm Feeling Good

It looks like Spring is on its way and I have to say that knowing this puts me in a good mood. I woke up feeling so good yesterday. There was sunshine coming into my bedroom and I actually heard birds chirping. It is unbeleivable how postively this weather affects me.

I was so motivated yesterday that I scrubbed my entire kitchen and bathroom, did laundry, cleaned the rest of the house (including mopping), went to the gym, AND made cupcakes that were so moist, they fall apart in your mouth.

I would say yesterday was quite productive.

I love it when I step outside and the air is crisp and full of sunshine. That warmth just completes me. It actually puts a smile on my face...and that is a difficult thing to do. This further convinces me that I need to live in a place where the weather is always like this. I am not built for cold and snowy winters, I need warmth and sunshine. If I were braver I would pack my shit and just head to west coast and settle somewhere. Unfortunately, I am not that spontaneous and a move like that would take careful calculation and months of deliberation. So, to me, a move like that is something that only happens in movies.

Anyways, the way I feel today is so foreign to me. Do you know when you are so excited that you cant sit still? I feel this way today because I feel like I have so many things to look forward to in the coming weeks. I have a few concerts to go to, a few birthdays coming up, paintballing, .... Im even looking forward to going to the gym today! Ugh, I dont even know who I am today.

Is this what happiness feels like?

Title is lyric from "Feeling Good" Michael Buble's version (Muse's version is my second favorite)

Why Do I Keep Counting?

I decided to make another light post amongst all the dark, deep and serious posts I always make. Since I am in a list making mood, Im gonna make another list. I read Elsie Flannigan's blog (A Beautiful Mess) and she always posts 10 things she loves on Sundays, so Im gonna post 10 things I love today....just for the sake of flattery I guess

10 Things I Love

1. Paris

I want to learn French so badly and I want to visit France sometime early next year. I have a cousin who lives there and told me I am welcome to stay in her huge mansion during my visit. I cant wait. I dont know what it is about this country but it just seems so romantic and it reminds me of an old fashioned movie from the 50's. I absolutely love that era and everything about it

2. Autumn Leaves
My favorite season is fall. I love the colors associated with the fall. Everything brightens up and darkens down at the same time and we see all the beautiful oranges, reds, and browns. I love the weather-not too hot and not too cold. I love how its still light out when its late. I love the crunchy leaves on the ground. I also love that fall is the beginning of hot chocolate, cinnamon, pumpkin, and nutmeg. To me, fall is just so comforting...

3. Bright sunshine peering through white curtains

I cannot explain the affect sunshine has on me. I feel like I need sunshine to survive. There is nothing better than bright sunshine coming in through the windows. I especially love it coming through white curtains. I have long white curtains in my bedroom and sometimes I just lie in bed and revel in the loveliness of the morning. Its so beautiful that I feel like its a small signal from a higher power telling me that life is worth living

4. Books...tons and tons of books

One of my goals in life is to have an at home library. When I buy a house, I am going to use a spare bedroom to make a library. Im gonna install floor to ceiling bookshelves on all the walls and Im gonna buy a comfortable recliner couch and a pretty lamp. By the time this happens, I know my book collection will be immense so Im gonna fill up those shelves and I will color code all my books too. You can bet the room will have long white curtains and I will sit in there and read in the sunshine until the end of time.

5. Beaches at sunset

I am definitely a tropical person. I dont understand people who take vacation in cold places with tons of snow. To me, a vacation is a nice sunny beach and a pina colada with a little umbrella. That being said, one of the things I love the most are beaches at night time. The waves become soothing and just looking at the endless expanse of the horizon allows me to see that this world is a lot bigger than we understand.

6. Purple

My favorite color is black. Sometimes I obsess with another color for a while but I never stray from black. Black is endless, there is no beggining or end. Black is both plain and elegant. You could never go wrong with it. Lately, I have been really into purple...the royal shade. Its very majestic and grand. I am scared of color, which is why I always stick to black, white and gray but purple is close enough to the edge of bland and colorful for me.

7. Red pumps

Ruby red is the only other color, besides purple, that I love. Especially in shoes. I have a pair of ruby red pumps that I have actual feelings for. I love the way a black dress and ruby red pumps looks. To me it says, I am elegant and classy but I have a little wild side to me. Its just so edgy and I love it!

8. Black and White Photography

In black and white, pictures always look timeless, classy, vintage, and nostalgic. I love black and white pics just as much as I love pictures taken in natural sunlight. Taking color out of picture captures the moment more clearly because we focus on the subjects of the picture and are not distracted by colors and lighting. That makes a world of difference to me.

9. Pens

I have a sick pen obession, especially felt tip pens in black ink. I like the fine point ones, like 0.3 thickness. I am very specific about the pens I use, and I collect them. I have tons of pens and I love them all! One day my friend wanted to test me to see if I really remembered each pen I have, so he took my pen cup and took out a random pen and I had to guess which one was missing. Needless to say, I guessed the right one each time. Dont mess with my pens! I will ask you for a pen back if I lend it to you and I am also a klepto so watch your pens around me too

10. Chocolate

I think this one can speak for itself. Chocolate actually has anti-oxidants or something like that, which make a person feel good. There is nothing like the melt in your mouth sweetness of chocolate. Its just as good as sitting in my color coded library in Paris, France during the fall with sunshine peering through my long white curtains while the waves crash on beach outside and I write down notes in my felt tip purple ink pen while wearing my ruby red pumps :)

Post title is same titled song by The Killers

This is the sound of the unlocking and the lift away

Well, its almost February....which means a whole month has just slipped by without notice. I was pondering the other day and I had to ask myself how I have endured almost 24 winters? I HATE winter passionately. The only time I love winter is at the beginning of it, when it still feels like autumn, but just a little chillier. And when you start to see Christmas all around you and you smell cinnamon, nutmeg, all spice, and pine and there is just a light drizzle of snow in the air.

But then Christmas is gone and there is dirty snow and ice everywhere and the temperature is constantly in the teens. This is when I absolutely loathe winter. It makes me want to leave New York and move to the west coast or somewhere where it doesnt get so damn cold. And I would NOT be one of those people who would miss the snow. I would miss Christmas in New York, yes, but I could get over it.

The original purpose of this post was to comment on how time slips right by me. I am at a point in my life where I already accomplished most of the goals I had set for myself, so I dont really have much goals left. This makes me feel like I have no purpose in life..nothing to strive for or to look forward to.

I mean there are things that are far out of my reach that I would like to accomplish but then I tell myself to be realistic and to stop dreaming. And I realized that I am limiting myself to be safe, to not take risks, to stay in my comfort zone, to not put myself out there to be rejected or hurt and so basically I am telling myself not to live. I thought that I would be happy living this mundane, constantly safe life but I now I am certain that I will never be happy living this way and the thought of it just scares me.

This does not mean that now I will be taking cliche risks and "living life to the fullest" but I do want to make some sort of change. There is a show on MTV called "The Buried Life" where a bunch of guys made a list of 100 things they want to do before they die and they are out doing it. I find that so incredibly cool and liberating. To not have a care in the world and just do what you want to do. Ive never had that freedom, not because people have held me back, but because I have held myself back.

Ive never let myself have a full experience of something. I always touch on it and retreat back to my safety net, always stating the excuse that I am just different from everyone else. And in many ways, I am different and unique but that should not be a reason for me to hold back on living. I have so many regrets and so many missed opportunities to do things that I wanted to do but was scared to. Simple things that are part of life and that everyone experiences, like traveling, friendship, etc.

Ive managed to free myself from the shackles that the world and other people put around me my whole life, but I have not freed myself from myself. I truly am my own worst enemy. One of my biggest fears is to live a long life without any memories worth remembering. I dont want to be a bitter old person. I dont want to look back in life and regret not doing the things I wanted so Im gonna make my list of things I want to do before I die. I wont have the expectation that I will accomplish everything on my list but if I could accomplish a few of them, I think I will die happy :)


Title is a lyric from "Re: Stacks" by Bon Iver-another fuckawesome artist