Day 19-Write About a Sweet Memory From Your Past

I have quite a limited memory, however I do remember a few things that make me smile. For example, I remember when school was out for the summer, my sister and me used to do so many things to keep ourselves entertained.

I remember we used to go to the library with our two best friends and we use to take out all the RL Stine books and try to read every single one of them throughout the summer. We also used to walk around looking for an open fire hydrant to play around in (I grew up in the Bronx, this was our idea of sprinklers and a pool).

We used to stay up late watching MTV and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches EVERY SINGLE DAY. We also used to watch The Golden Girls marathon every time it came on. We used to rollerblade outside our building, but only from corner to corner, we couldnt turn. Or we used to go to the park near our house and pretty much just waste time all day. Those were the days...

Day 18-Plans/Dreams/Goals You Have

Questions are pretty general and repetitive huh? Or maybe I just never know what to say for these things. I dont have any particularly special plans, dreams or goals. Really I am just trying to live day by day and taking it easy. I am tired of planning my life.

Right now my focus are the following things:

1. Getting healthy physically, mentally and emotionally
2. Finish unpacking/organizing/decorating my new apartment
3. Go to a pool/beach/waterpark...something with water before the summer ends
4. Take a vacation somewhere (Florida is my goal for next month)
5. Start planning a small wedding, aiming for setting a date in early Summer 2012
6. Enjoy the nice weather while it lasts
7. Finish watching Dexter Season 4 and 5

I am sure that next month, I will have a few more but for now, I just want to relax.

Day 17- Someone You Would Want To Switch Lives with For One Day and Why

What a strange question, which I have no idea how to answer. I guess I dont have a specific person I would want to switch lives with. I would certainly switch with anyone who is living and I mean really living. Someone who is enjoying their life and their youth. Someone who is doing what they want, when they want. Someone who has time to wander about and find things and places and people. Someone who has time to have a picnic or just lay in the grass for hours on end.

Someone who has the opportunity to explore the world and wont have to worry about work, troubles, responsiblity, stress, bills, savings, laundry, cleaning, stress, gas, electricity, cable, stress, eating right, deadlines, money, rent, and the list goes on and on.

I guess to sum it up in one word, I would switch lives with anyone who is FREE.

Day 16- A Picture of Yourself

Well I thought I had this covered with the first post of this little exercise but I guess not. I havent taken any pics since I went to a babyshower at the end of June, so thats's the pic I'm putting up. I would post one of me today but I really dont like taking pictures of myself...at all.

Day 15-Put Your Ipod on Shuffle: First 10 Songs That Play

Here is my outcome; pretty diverse I would say:

1. Amy Winehouse- Me and Mr. Jones

2. Snow Patrol-Open Your Eyes

3. Evanescence-My Immortal

4. My Chemical Romance-Cemetery Drive

5. Ciara- Promise

6. Three Days Grace-Never Too Late

7. Bayside-Dont Call Me Peanut

8. The Verve-Bittersweet Symphony

9. Something Corporate-Down

10. Paramore-Careful

Day 14- A Picture of You and Your Family

Dad, Mom, Chris (brother), Me, Teresa (Sister)

It saddens me to look at this picture because I dont know if we will ever get to take another picture of the 5 of us together. It also saddens me because I dont think there are any other pictures of us besides this one. Were we ever happy?
I'll never know...

We All Fall Short of Glory

I'm gonna interrupt my attempt to blog everyday for a month since I didnt exactly do it right anyway.

This morning while watching the video for "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, someone in the video said "Dont regret anything you do because in the end it makes you who you are," and for some reason this really hit home.

I have spent the past few years of my life regretting everything I ever did wrong. Every decision that didnt lead to a good outcome, every word that came out wrong, every action that was misinterpreted, every look, every breath, just pretty much EVERYTHING I have ever done. I had never stopped to realize that all these decisions I have made, have made me who I am today.

If it wasnt for all these actions that I punish myself over, what would my life be like today? If it wasnt for all these mistakes that keep me up at night, then what other problems would? If it wasnt for all the guilt I have felt, then what would I be feeling right now? Who would I be?

If I had this realization a few years back, I would have wished to not have any regrets and just risk being somebody else. But at this very moment in time, I am old enough and confident enough to know that I am who I am and I cannot change that. All of these regrets have taught me lessons. They have shaped me and made me a smarter and wiser person, and I cannot regret experiencing things that have had such a huge impact on my very being.

Perhaps the most powerful part of this realization, is that I finally accept myself. I realized that I really dont want to be anybody else... I just want to be a better version of myself.


Here is the 30 Seconds to Mars video:




Title post from "Closer to the Edge"