Live On and Be Yourself

I am not a fan of hip hop music, but every once in a while a hip hop artist I find worthy comes around. I heard the song "Same Love" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis for the first time a few days ago and I was struck by how incredible it was. It almost brought me to tears. It discusses gay rights and same sex equality in such an intelligent way that it is almost like a lecture and I havent been able to stop listening to it.

Personally, I have always been an LGBT supporter. I truly and honestly do not see anything wrong with being gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, bi-curious, and whatever else is out there. Everyone is different and nobody has the right to judge people for being who they are.

NOBODY. 

The song has a great lyric, among many, that says:

 "A preconceived idea of what it all meant/For those that liked the same sex/Had the characteristics/The right wing conservatives think it's a decision/And you can be cured with some treatment and religion/Man-made rewiring of a predisposition/Playing God." 

 To me this means that gay people are just being who they were born to be, they arent choosing to be gay and they cannot be fixed with treatment. It's just like race, you are born into it, you cant choose to be Black or White or Asian or American, you just are who you are. It really is that simple and I'm not sure where it all went wrong. I'm not sure what gave people the right to judge others for just being themselves. What makes any of us straight people any better than gay people? So what if they don't like people of the opposite sex? I dont like red meat, does that make me any less of a human being? 

NO.

Recently, one of my nephews was caught putting on lipstick and my sister yelled at him and snatched the lipstick away from him. She told him that lipstick is for girls and he shouldnt be wearing it. My nephew got upset and I told my sister that she shouldnt have done that. She shouldnt have yelled at him for experimenting with lipstick. He is 2 1/2, what does he know about makeup? He is curious and had probably seen her wearing lipstick and wanted to try it too.

Aside from yelling, the mistake she made was upsetting him for being curious. What if he turns out to be gay? That incident might be something that sticks in his head and he might feel like it's not okay to be himself. I advised her to make sure that her children feel like they can be who they want. She needs to make sure they know that they will be loved and supported no matter what. I told her not to mold them into preconceived notions of boys only wearing blue and playing with cars and girls wearing pink and playing with dolls. If my nephews want to play with dolls, let them. If my niece wants to play with cars, so be it. I tried to make it a point to her that her children fitting into the roles of society is not important. What is important is them feeling that they have the freedom to express themselves any way they want to and that if society does not accept them, then the people who matter and who love them always will.

And I urge everyone to do this. You never know the difference you can make in someones life by just telling them "I support you" or by making them feel like them being different from you doesnt change anything. I think the saddest thing in the world is when you dont have the freedom to be who you want to be, love who you want to love and just live how you want to live because others arent comfortable enough with themselves to accept that you are different. Here is another lyric from "Same Love" that resonates with me:

 "When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are"

All these homophobes ,who use the Bible to defend their unjust and ridiculous excuses, have is issues with themselves. If you are comfortable with your sexuality and who you are, then what does another persons sexuality have to do with you? Why should it matter to you? How sad is it that there are people who are taking their own lives because they feel like death is better than living? 

As a society, it is imperative that we change. The world is constantly evolving and we dont know what's in store for us ahead. I do believe acceptance is happening slowly. There are certain laws that have recently been approved and little by little, the states are making same sex marriage legal. It is important that this change continues because in the long run, there are more important things to worry about. Same sex equality doesnt make the world a terrible place, but the hate and ignorance that comes from people does. 

I commend Macklemore for writing "Same Love" and for challenging society. I commend him for using his celebrity status to get a positive message across and for encouraging people to take a step back and reconsider their way of thinking. I commend him for putting something out there that will bring comfort to those that are struggling to come to terms with themselves and I hope and truly believe that this song will help many.

If I could send a message to all the people who are facing internal battles, I would tell them to just live your life the way you want to live it. Dont ever change yourself to comfort others, dont ever deny yourself the right and the opportunity to do what you want to do and be who you want to be. It is an opportunity that is inherent and cannot be taken away from you by anybody. You have a right to pursue happiness and if it makes others uncomfortable, that is their problem, not yours. As "Same Love" states: "Live on and be yourself."

Your Only Flaw, You Are Flawless

Can we talk about how flawless Demi Lovato is? Yes, I know she is a Disney star. Yes, I am fan girling. Yes, I am aware that I am inching my way to 30 years old and probably shouldn't engage in this type of behavior, but I am who I am. I am also not ashamed to admit that I just spent my whole morning watching YouTube videos of Demi performing nor am I ashamed to admit that if she goes on tour, I AM BUYING TICKETS!

Out of all the Disney stars, this girl is actually really talented. She has one of the strongest voices I have heard in quite some time. I mean there is so much power in her voice that it's almost hard to believe. Her vocal range is out of this world and when she opens her mouth to sing, I get goosebumps. I mean, she really blows all these other young artists out of the water. It;s like there is a mature edge to her voice, a hoarseness, that can only be developed from experience. At her ripe age of 20, she has been through quite a ride. 

Demi, like typical childhood stars, was on a downward spiral. She was abusing drugs and alcohol, was self medicating and was basically just out of control.  She hit rock bottom when she physically assaulted one of her backup dancers  and her family stepped in and had an intervention. The admirable thing about her is that she was able to catch herself and pull it together. She ended up going to rehab where she worked through so many issues including self mutilation, eating disorders, and depression. She took full responsibility for all her actions and made an extraordinary recovery. 

After rehab, she was open about her struggles and shared them with the world through a documentary. She wanted  teens going through similar issues to be encouraged to seek help and treatment. She wanted them to know that they were not alone and that they could get through anything. She is also a strong advocate of self love and is one the few celebrities who is absolutely beautiful, curvy and weighs more than 100lbs.  In a world where there are very few role models, I think Demi shines as one of the best and most positive role models teens have nowadays. Personally, I think she is pretty awesome and I admire her for making such a huge change in her life at such a young age. 

 So this amazing and talented girl has recently released a self titled album that I have been listening to relentlessly. I also recently discovered that Demi has covered "How To Love" by Lil' Wayne and "Stay" by Rihanna. Now, everyone knows that I am a sucker for cover songs and I happen to love both those songs, so of course I had to YouTube her performances. Let me tell you that Demi puts both Lil' Wayne and Rihanna to shame. She changed up some of the words to "How To Love" and when she sings the bridge and says "I just want you to know that I deserve the best, I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful...And I just want you to know, I'm far from the usual, far from the usual" I swear a tear streamed down my face because she sings those particular words with such conviction that nobody would doubt she believes them. The same goes for when she sings the bridge in "Stay," she sings it with the same pain Rihanna does but is able to hit a note that drives it home, unlike Rihanna. I swear, both these covers are top quality and they are flawless, just like Demi ;)

*Title of Post is from "Flawless" by The Neighbourhood* 

"Stay" Cover

"How To Love" Cover

What's New?

My previous post was my 200th post on this blog. I decided to make another post just to take the pressure off and bring it to 201 ;)

I just wanted to let people know that there is a lot of good music out there at the moment. I mean seriously good stuff:

Demi Lovato released a new album, "Demi," that is great in a young, adult poppy sense but I really like it. Judge me all you want, I know she is a Disney start but she has an amazing story and voice to go along with it. I mean, this girl can sing! Check out "In Case," "Nightingale," and "Warrior" off her new album so you can hear the pipes she's packing.

My new favorite band, The Neighbourhood, released their album, "I Love You," and it was nothing less than the excellence I expected. Who doesn't love a band that does everything in black and white? They have a great pop sound, meaningful lyrics and a mysterious aura that just lures you in and capture you. Listen to "Sweater Weather" and "Female Robbery" to get a taste of what they are about.

Paramore has a new album, "Paramore," out with a more grown up sound. Hayley Williams' voice has matured as well as their lyrics. You can tell the band is in a different and better place. They tried out a few different sounds so they have some very rock like songs, some pop songs and even have ukeleili's! I like it and to quote one of their own lyrics after all this time, I'm still into them. Listen to "Part II" and "Hate to See Your Heart Break" to hear a new sounds.

Lastly, Fall Out Boy, is not a band that I adamantly listened to in the past because I always felt they were too mainstream and geared towards teenagers (but when has that stopped me?.) However, their new album, "Save Rock and Roll," is awesome. I love their sound, which is really edgy and different from their past music. They've got good beats and it's an album that you can listen to continuously without skipping songs. Try "Phoenix" and "Death Valley" for some upbeat tunes.

And I should officially become a music reviewer for a magazine

I'll Stay Awake-Twenty One Pilots

I just very recently discovered these guys (like 2 months ago) and I have been obsessed to an almost unhealthy degree. Why? Because I have NEVER EVER EVER heard a sound like Twenty One Pilots. Yes, I know that I don't know anywhere near enough about music and I know that I haven't listened to even 5% of the world's available music, but in my years and in my own short life, I have yet to come across a sound as unique as Twenty One Pilots.

They are made up of two guys, Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun, who I assume are in their mid 20's. There is currently not much information about them because they are a fairly new band (they formed in 2009) and they seem to be very private. They are described as an American pop duo but I dont think their sound has a label it would fit under completely. They have some pop aspects, there is a little rock, and a little hip-hop and rap. Tyler Joseph is the group's vocalist and also plays the piano while Josh Dun is the drummer.

 

I stumbled upon these guys while looking for something new and boy did I get what I was looking for. Their lyrics are unique, clever, different, inspiring, and just plain good. Their songs switch between different genres of music from one second to the other. It can start off with rapping, then it goes into a pop song but has a rock inspired bridge or drum solo. I love that you don't know what to expect and that their songs sound like a few different songs combined into one.

Here is "Ode to Sleep," a perfect example of the combination of different sounds. Enjoy!

Kissing in the Blue Dark-Lana del Rey

 Lana del Rey, whose real name is Elizabeth Grant, is a saucy, little vixen with a soulful, 50's and 60's inspired sound. Her obvious talent is in her song writing with controversial and almost inappropriate lyrics. For the most part, she is pretty underground (being a YouTube sensation and all) but is starting to make a name for herself, especially after her highly criticized SNL performance last year.

What I love about Lana del Rey is that she says what she wants in her lyrics and doesn't really care what people think. She is one of those troubled, free spirits that lives in her own world, much like Amy Winehouse. Although her voice doesn't compare to Amy Winehouse's, there is a sad undertone in her voice that just draws you in. Her range is pretty unique, which in turn makes her whole sound different and refreshing. She sort of emulates what you would expect to see and hear in jazz clubs/lounges back in the 50's and I absolutely love that

She has released 2 albums under the name Lana del Rey and they have both had much success. Her first album, "Born to Die," is one of those albums that you can listen to in its entirety. I could say that I love pretty much every track on there, with my favorites being "Blue Jeans," "Video Games," and "Million Dollar Man."  I pretty much obsessed with this album for months upon months and while I dont think that Lana del Rey will be a household name, I actually really love the fact that she will be a beautiful gem in the world of underground music.

 Listen below to one of her singles and probably my favorite song "Blue Jeans."

The Best Things in Life-Ed Sheeran

Seriously, everyone needs to give this British Ginger Angel a chance. He is a true talent, sings like an angel and writes like a genius. I feel like I am listening to excerpts from his personal diary when listening to some songs. All his songs have such beautiful melodies and his voice is like silk against these melodies. The guy is also really into hip-hop, which is such a change from his music but makes me like him all the more. To top it off, he comes off as down to earth and humble, which makes you root for him because you know he is in it for the music and nothing else.

His album "+" (yes, a plus sign) was recently nominated for several Grammy awards this year, but did not win any. I've had + on repeat for months with "Give Me Love," "This," and "Sunburn" being my favorites. With lyrics like "after my blood is drowning in alcohol" in "Give Me Love" and "I could do without a tan on my left hand, where my forefinger meets my knuckle" in "Wake Me Up," the album was definitely Grammy worthy.

 I've also heard his songs on several TV shows (The Vampire Diaries being a big Ed Sheeran supporter-which makes me love the show more) and movies. I myself have used his lyrics for titles of several posts.


This guy has not yet gotten the recognition he deserves just yet, but I feel like he will soon. Talent like that does not go ignored. I am anticipating his second album and I really think the potential for his success will be comparable to Adele's. Just wait and see...

Here is "Give Me Love," one of the most powerful ballads on his album.

Let Me Show You a Few Things

So I'm really liking the fact that Justin Timberlake decided to put out new music. I really enjoyed his last album "FutureSex/LoveSounds" but this was years ago. I remember I was in college and living in the dorms in the Bronx and I worked in Yonkers so I would take 2 buses to get to work 4 times a week. I would start this album at the beginning and it would be done by the time I got to work (always late by the way.)

His new song "Suit and Tie" has a nice old school vibe to it and I haven't gotten tired of it yet, so I'm excited for any new songs that will be released. I always look forward to new music from old favorite artists.

Speaking of new music, there are a few artists that I have been completely obsessed with lately and  I LOVE to share my obsessions and get other people to obsess too. So in order to get myself to post more often and to share wonderful music with everyone, I am gonna make separate posts for each artist that I have had on repeat the past few months/weeks. Here is a list of what to expect:

1. Ed Sheeran

2. Lana Del Rey

3.Twenty One Pilots

4.Imagine Dragons

5. Various Cruelties

6. Lights

7. Jessie Ware

It's Harder to Recall the Many Bad Times

Have you ever found a song that makes you sit back and think about your life? A song that makes you nostalgic, but the kind of nostalgia that you relish and want to hold on to? A song that elicits a flutter in the pit of your stomach and although you don't know what the feeling is, you want to keep it for as long as possible.

I think that moments like that are the reason music exists. Those artists that are truly talented and love what they do, chase those feelings and want to live and bask in them, which is why they make music for a living. And those same feelings are the criteria I use when I'm listening to new music. If it doesn't stir something up in me, it isn't worth my time.

Band of Horses has managed to blow me away with a few songs in each of their albums. To this day, I still claim "Infinite Arms" as my favorite song ever. We even chose it for our first dance at our wedding next month because when I first heard it, I thought of Victor and I thought of our relationship. The song made me catch my breath and it reminded me of the way Victor makes me feel and the way I feel about him. I never wanted to let go of those feelings and I still get them no matter how much I listen to this song. When I played it for him, he loved it too!

 I recently experienced something grand while listening to the new Band of Horses album, Mirage Rock, for the first time. I let the whole album play on Shuffle and when the song "Long Vows" came on, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down. Its a ballad with a sort of woodsy, bluesy country rock vibe and it made me feel a level of nostalgia I have never experienced before.

I put the song on repeat and I kept getting such a strong level of longing for happier times that it bought tears to my eyes and before I knew it, I broke down and I cried for a while. It was a very necessary cry, one that was cleansing, one that bought relief, one that was long overdue because I hadn't had a good cry in so long. I have so much going on right now that I haven't had time to just sit down and think. I didn't know that I needed to let it all out and I didn't know that I needed encouragement or assurance, but I got all these things from simply listening to this song.

I heard "All that you seek/All that you set out to find/Don't let anything change your mind," and got encouragement. I heard "But blankets fall, they don't stay in place just as they were made," and realized that things change and that I have to accept it. Lastly, I heard "And no one's gonna show you the way/When it gets cold you can find yourself made/Back in the hole from which you came/And everything will fall into place." I just needed to know that when all this mayhem going on my life is done, everything will eventually fall into place and everything is gonna be okay.

At the risk of sounding cliche, this is why some people say that music changes their lives...because it does. It really, really does...

Close My Eyes

Has anyone ever gone back and listened to music they used to love many years back? Back in 1997 or 1998, my favorite album was Butterfly by Mariah Carey. I used to listen to it non-stop in my little portable CD player and, at the time, thought I fully understood each song and had a connection with them. Looking back, it was impossible for a 12 year old to be able to relate to the musings of a then 28 year old Mariah Carey.

I recently went back and re-listened to that entire album and I gotta say that it is truly and incredible album. My reaction to it is completely different from what it was 14 years back. I love this album more than I did before because now I completely understand it. I can truly relate to it, I can picture myself in it, I can envision it, I can include myself in the lyrics. I was not able to do these things back then and being able to do it now, makes all the difference.

While I love the fact that I am able to compare how much I have grown mentally and emotionally through music, I am also saddened at the fact that the amount of music that will withstand the test of time like this album has, is almost non existant. Maybe it's because of the memories listening to this album stirs up or maybe it's because I slowly realizing I am aging and this all makes me nostalgic, but 15 years from now, there will only be a small handful of albums that will be able to evoke the feelings Butterfly has for me. I only hope that the youth now is able to look back years from now and listen to an album and fall in love with it again, like I have.

Going through all the tracks in Butterfly, the one that hit me hardest was "Close My Eyes." If this song had been released in present day, I would swear it was written about me. It completely describes what I feel and think and my reflections of self. I am thoroughly impressed with the fact that whoever wrote this was able to put those kind of feelings into words, since I have tried and have not succeeded.

Below are the lyrics, hopefully others can relate as well:

Close My Eyes



I was wayward child

With the weight of the world
That I held deep inside
Life was a winding road
And I learned many things
Little ones shouldn't know

[Chorus:]

But I closed my eyes

Steadied my feet on the ground

Raised my head to the sky

And though time's rolled by

Still feel like a child

As I look at the moon

Maybe I grew up

A little too soon

Funny how one can learn

To grow numb to the madness

And block it away

I left the worst unsaid

Let it all dissipate

And I try to forget

Nearing the edge

Oblivious I almost

Fell right over

A part of me

Will never be quite able

To feel stable

That woman-child falling inside

Was on the verge of fading

Thankfully I

Woke up in time

Guardian angel I

Sail away on an ocean

With you by my side

Orange clouds roll by

They burn into your image

And you're still alive

(You're always alive)

A Song For You

Am I the only one who tears up every time I hear an Amy Winehouse song? I literally tear up every time.

RIP Amy Jade Winehouse

The one I have the hardest time listening to is her cover of "A Song for You." It's been covered by dozens of artists before her because it is lyrically a beautiful song. She recorded this cover in one sitting in her own home. The session wasnt planned but they say she was emotionally attached to this song and basically wept through the entire recording.

You can definitely hear and feel her emotions while listening to the song. Ultimately, this cover is gut wrenchingly beautiful. In it's own rustic way, it is truly touching and emotionally charged. It brings me to tears every time I hear it. There is one particular part that really hits me hard. She says:

"And when my life is over

Remember, remember, remember

When we were together

And I was singing this song for you"

This song has been deemed her unofficial suicide note and many people think this is why she was so emotional while recording it. It definitely feels like a goodbye to her fans and loved ones and it brings a sense of closure to her posthumous album.

At the end of the song, she talks about Donnie Hathaway, who recorded the most popular cover of this song and who was her all time favorist artist. She says: "Donnie Hathaway...it was like he couldnt contain himself. He had something in him you know." If only she knew that many of us fans felt and still feel that way about her...

I'll Carry You Home Tonight

I've been sick as a dog the past 3 weeks. Just when I start to feel better, my throat gets itchy or my nose gets stuffy. Overall, I am feeling 100 times better now than I did 2 weeks ago..I  mean it was so bad, I didnt go to work for a full week.

In more interesting news, I've been looking for new music. I have a process I go through whenever I just get an itch to discover a new band or artist. What I do is keep a running lists of musicians that are mentioned in either magazine articles or randomly on the internet or facebook or if they are on the up and coming artist lists, or on the radio, etc. Then when the mood for a change strikes, I look up their music. I discovered one of my favorite bands, The Black Keys, this way.

I have recently discovered a new band called fun and I think I am going to be LOVING them for a while. They have released 2 albums, one a few years back and one Feb 2012 called Some Nights. Currently, their song "We Are Young" featuring Janelle Monae is being played on the radio non stop and I have to say that I absolutely adore it.

Their album is quite refreshing. There is such an eclectic mix of sounds and styles all mixed together but it flows beautifully. Sometimes they sound like Queen, sometimes they sound like Blink 182, sometimes they sound like Phoenix. Their songs are loud, with harsh beats and undertones in the background. It almost seems noisy but it works so well. The lyrics are clever, insighful and heartfelt. Listening to some songs, I imagine some of the lyrics are literally random thoughts that pop up in the writers mind. They are thoughts we all have and things we all feel but dont express them.

This band doesnt fit any mold and this album is unlike anything I have heard. I went through an array of emotions while listening to Some Nights. It makes you want to dance, to cry, to think, to feel, to sing out loud at the top of your lungs. "We Are Young" makes me want to be free, have fun, live wild...I imagine myself in a crowd of people shouting the chorus at the top of lungs and just feeling like I could live forever.

Like I'm infinite...

The Most Beautiful Song of All Time

When I was a little girl, my parents listened to a very famous and very talented singer/poet named Juan Luis Guerra. If you mention him to any Dominican person, they know exactly who he is. He is like the Bob Dylan/Bruce Springsteen of Dominican Republic.

Basically, Juan Luis Guerra turns his poems into music. So his songs are not only pleasant to the ear but they are also lyrically beautiful. I am in constant search of artists that are exceptional writers. To me, lyrics are more important that the sound of the artist. There are a lot of people out there that sing fantastically but to be able to both write and sing well is rare.

With that said, I was listening to some old Spanish songs I grew up with. One of them is a Juan Luis Guerra song called "Burbujas de Amor." I have to say that this has to be the most beautiful love song ever written. The imagery expressed in this song is out of this world. The meaning get lost in the translation into English but basically he discusses how he wishes he was a fish that would forever be wet with this love he feels for a woman. He would touch his nose to his fish tank and make love bubbles all over the tank. He would make silhouettes of love under the moonlight and he talks about how just the sound of her voice makes him weak. It all sounds so strange in English, but I guarantee you ask any Spanish person and they will understand.

In any case, I have never heard a more beautiful metaphor for love. It stirred up a lot of memories and I was overcome with nostalgia about the past and my childhood. I dont often think about my childhood, but this song took me right back and man did I break down. I had such a strong connection to my past through this song that I could have sworn I was 8 years old again. I remembered my parents listening to this song, I remembered when I first heard it. I remembered how simple life was during that time.

Mostly, I remember my dad and I cried like a baby because I realized how much I miss him. I would do anything to have my dad back. Remembering how he used to be really opened my eyes to how much he has changed and this realization has left me helplessly broken. 

I'm So Tired, I Can't Even Cry

It is amazing what the human body is capable of. I never thought that I could do so many things with my body without it snapping or breaking in half. I have been working with a personal trainer up to three times a week for the past 4 weeks and every workout session, I surprise myself with what I am capable of doing. Every time I think I cant lift another pound or move another inch, I push through it and end up doing way more than I mentally thought I would be able to.

It is hard to understand how incredibly simple it is to just do it. Even if you think you cant, you literally just push the weight and do it. If you think your arms are gonna fall off, keep going. If your legs are jelly, just run a little more and you will be stunned at how much more you can do.Your body really does stay together and recover. If only life were this simple too...

In other news, I've been listening to this song non-stop. I can really relate right now...plus I still miss Amy. Her label and family are releasing a new album with some demos and unfinished songs she was working on before she passed. Definitely looking forward to it.

Here is "What It Is" by Amy Winehouse

Everyday It Will Rain

I am really liking the new Bruno Mars song "It Will Rain" for the Breaking Dawn movie soundtrack. Not only am I excited for the movie ( I have no shame in admitting this) but I think the song is beautiful.

I personally really like Bruno Mars. He has a soulful, melodic voice that emulates the styles of the 50's and 60's when there were Doo Wop groups. I love that era of music and really enjoy how harmonizing and acapella singing was emphasized back then. Bruno brings that into his music present day, so it makes it obvious that he really does have a wonderful voice. I have seen him in concert before and I have to say he is pretty amazing...and short too lol.

Anyway, the song is supposed to be about the dark side of love. As we all know, love is not all butterflies and roses. There are times where we go places in our heads that brings out the most shameful types of behavior in us. This song is about figuring out what to do with yourself when your love walks away. You lose yourself in someone else and when that person is no longer there, you dont even remember who you are without them anymore. I am thinking this is from Jacob's point of view when Bella marries Edward and he realizes there is no longer a possibility of anything happening between him and Bella.

Here is a link to the song because for some reason, I cant paste the video on here: It Will Rain

Day 15-Put Your Ipod on Shuffle: First 10 Songs That Play

Here is my outcome; pretty diverse I would say:

1. Amy Winehouse- Me and Mr. Jones

2. Snow Patrol-Open Your Eyes

3. Evanescence-My Immortal

4. My Chemical Romance-Cemetery Drive

5. Ciara- Promise

6. Three Days Grace-Never Too Late

7. Bayside-Dont Call Me Peanut

8. The Verve-Bittersweet Symphony

9. Something Corporate-Down

10. Paramore-Careful

We All Fall Short of Glory

I'm gonna interrupt my attempt to blog everyday for a month since I didnt exactly do it right anyway.

This morning while watching the video for "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, someone in the video said "Dont regret anything you do because in the end it makes you who you are," and for some reason this really hit home.

I have spent the past few years of my life regretting everything I ever did wrong. Every decision that didnt lead to a good outcome, every word that came out wrong, every action that was misinterpreted, every look, every breath, just pretty much EVERYTHING I have ever done. I had never stopped to realize that all these decisions I have made, have made me who I am today.

If it wasnt for all these actions that I punish myself over, what would my life be like today? If it wasnt for all these mistakes that keep me up at night, then what other problems would? If it wasnt for all the guilt I have felt, then what would I be feeling right now? Who would I be?

If I had this realization a few years back, I would have wished to not have any regrets and just risk being somebody else. But at this very moment in time, I am old enough and confident enough to know that I am who I am and I cannot change that. All of these regrets have taught me lessons. They have shaped me and made me a smarter and wiser person, and I cannot regret experiencing things that have had such a huge impact on my very being.

Perhaps the most powerful part of this realization, is that I finally accept myself. I realized that I really dont want to be anybody else... I just want to be a better version of myself.


Here is the 30 Seconds to Mars video:




Title post from "Closer to the Edge"

Day 10-Songs You Listen to When You Are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

This might be a hard one. I have sooo many songs I listen to with every mood. Sometimes a song makes me feel a certain way as oppose to me feeling a certain way and listening to a song. I have tried to narrow it down here:

Mad: I dont really listen to music when I'm mad

Bored: ANYTHING, if I am bored, I am not gonna be picky.

Happy:
Tighten Up-Black Keys
Mirrors-Envy on the Coast
Mary-Kings of Leon
Bliss-Muse

Sad:
Detlef Schrempf-Band of Horses
First Love-Adele
They Looked Like Strong Hands-Bayside
Transatlanticism-Death Cab for Cutie
Someone Like You-Adele

Hyped:
Lisztomania-Phoenix
Ready to Start-Arcade Fire
Monster-Kanye West
You Know I'm No Good-Amy Winehouse
Plug In Baby-Muse

*I added this category*
Nostalgic:
Infinite Arms-Band of Horses (actually this song could fall into every category)
For Emma-Bon Iver
Swim-Jack's Mannequin
Gravity-John Mayer
Manhattan-Kings of Leon

Day 2-The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

The name of my blog is "And So The Story Goes." This is a play on a lyric from a Bon Iver song called "Lump Sum." It is a song about recovery, starting over, finding inner balance and reflecting on your life...what it was, what it is and what it could be.

I chose this name for my blog because this is my story. My journey to recovery, to finding myself, to documenting my thoughts at certain points in time. This is my memory to reflect back on, to analyze, to criticize, to remember myself by. It is my auto biography to see how I have grown, changed, and matured. This blog serves as a way to record my history, my era, my youth, the prime of my life so I could look back and see how many people I have been, how many people I could be...or to prove to myself that I am who I am and will be who I always have been.

Here is "Lump Sum" by Bon Iver:

We Could've Had It All...

Hey there...lots going on lately. I definitely plan on getting back into the flow of blogging more often. I have one of those 30 day blog things in mind, so it will force me to blog every day for a month.

Anyway, lately I have been OBSESSED with Adele's new album, 21. I eat, breathe, sleep and shit this album. No joke....I need help to get over this addiction.

21 is a breakup album and boy did this asshole break Adele's heart. You could certainly feel her pain in her lyrics, in the melodies and just in the way she sings. Some songs border on pathetic but she realistically depicts the pain that comes from heartache. Not everyone can just get over a lost love quickly. Sometimes we need to wallow in pity and in pain. Sometimes we need to be consumed whole by this pain to point where we burst. Sometimes we need to analyze ourselves and blame ourselves for what happened. Sometimes we need to promise to be better, to change, to be what this other person needs. Sometimes we need to reach the lowest of the low in every possible way in order to rise back up again, rebuild ourselves and find the strenght to move on.

Adele certainly went through this healing process and you can feel it in this album. Songs like "One and Only" and "Don't You Remember" where she begs this guy to love her and think about her again. She focuses on what could have been and blames herself. But then there are songs like "Rolling in the Deep" where she realizes that he played her and fooled her and she threatens to "lay his shit bare" if he sells her out. Also "Set the Fire to the Rain" where she talks about how she fell for him but she had to start to let go because she realized there was a "side to him that she never knew."

She finally ends the album with "Someone Like You" where she talks about how this guy has moved on and is now married. You get the feeling that she has realized she has no choice but to let him go. She wishes him "nothing but the best," however, she begs him not to forget her to which he responds that "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead." She has accepted this to be true and you feel the album end with healing.

I definitely recommend this album in its entirety. I have loved Adele for quite some time and I am so happy she is finally getting the public recognition she deserves. Below is the one song I am stuck on. It's called "One and Only." I sang this to one of my 4 month old nephews, Aaron, and he smiled at me the entire time. Not only is this song beautiful, but I picture his smiling face everytime I hear it.

We Were Already, Already Bored

Hello there...I have been a little negligent of this blog but not for any reasons other than the fact that I have been extremely busy. I havent had a minute to myself since 2011 started and work has literally taken up my entire life. I get home after 9:30pm everyday for the most part. I guess this is what being adult is all about. Let me sum it up in two words: pure misery.

There is a lot that I want to share and catch myself up on but it will be left for another few posts because I have to finishing sorting my head out. For now, I just couldnt resist sharing some worthy and wonderful music that I have been listening to lately.

First is Arcade Fire. Congrats to them for taking home the Grammy for Album of the year because they were truly deserving of it. Their album "The Suburbs" is spectacular. If you have never heard of them, give them a chance. Here is their song "The Suburbs" from their winning album by the same title:



Next is one of my favorite singers, Adele. She has a new album, "21" that is just amazing. I really cannot choose a favorite, but I feel that the song "Take It All" showcases her voice and her musical style the best. It's also one of those songs that evoke emotions from you without you knowing it will.



I will definitely get back into the flow of blogging again as soon as I get a chance to do something besides work. There are a few exciting things going on in my life that I definitely want to track on here. As an old friend wrote on her blog: "We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect." This is precisely why I started this blog, and I intend to continue it for this same reason.