2012 A Year in Review

Well I definitely don't write here as often as I did in the past. I truly don't know why because I love to write and I'm sure I could find the time a few days a week. I guess I'll make that a New Year's Resolution then. It's not too early to start talking about the new year since we are exactly 18 days away from 2013.

It really feels like this year just flew by. There are so many things that happen in 12 months but it all just feels like yesterday so it's hard to grasp the fact that so much time has gone by.So I put together a list of all my favorite things that happened in 2012. I think I am gonna try to do this every year going forward.

2012: My Favorite Events

-The triplets turned one

-Made 7 years with Victor

-Saw The Black Keys in concert for the first time

-Visited my godsister in VA

-Started planning my wedding 

-Took Alyssa to get her first haircut

-Went apple picking

-Got a Keurig

-My little brother graduated from high school

-Helped my brother move into his dorm

-Victor got his Associates Degree

-Had the opportunity to spend some time in Argentina and Uruguay

- Got to vacation in Dominican Republic with all my best friends and family

-Got MARRIED in Dominican Republic

-Lost 20lbs and have kept them off 

-Went to a family reunion for a second year in a row

-Voted for the 3rd time in my life!

-Planned a baby shower :)

-Got to see the triplets begin to grow up

I'm sure there is much more but I cant remember it all. This gives me hope for 2013 because so many wonderful things happened in 2012 without me even making an effort. Come next year, I will make an effort and I think it will be a good year :)

...But It's Not Like Christmas At All

In an effort to get into the "Christmas spirit," I've been listening to Christmas music for the past week. I'm not sure why the spirit hast hit me yet...maybe it's the weather still being so warm or maybe it's because I'm broke.

In any case, there are some really nice Christmas songs out there. They did manage to get me in a cheery mood for a bit. I think these are my top 5 favorite songs:

Top 5 Favorite Christmas Songs

1. Baby Please Come Home

2. Last Christmas

3. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

4.Merry Christmas Baby

5. Baby It's Cold Outside

I like the original versions of each song..the classic ones by Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, etc. Those versions make me nostalgic and happy at the same time. 

Can We Get Much Higher?

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Mine was full of drama as usual. I was caught off guard though because I really thought that there would be none this year, but what's a holiday without drama? I am resigned to accept that this is what is to be expected every year. Sadly, its not even boyfriend/fiance drama, it's even worse....FAMILY drama. I say worse because I can't really get rid of them the way I could get rid of a man that brings me problems. I am stuck with these people for life.

Despite my darkness, I made an effort to make my home look Christmas-y. I put up a tree and lights everywhere. I really LOVE the lights I put on my best post and I think I am gonna keep them there all year round. They look so beautiful at night. It gives the room a nice glow.

In other happier news, I got some really awesome gifts this Christmas. One was my Amazon Kindle. This bad boy has not left my side for the last 4 days. I have downloaded a few books and have already completed one of them. I decided to read the Vampire Diaries series because I think that I am a teenager and so that is what I read. Don't you dare judge me! I always find that books are better than movies or, in this case, TV shows, but I have to say that I like the TV show better than the books so far. I am currently on Volume II so maybe it gets better.

Most importantly, Mr. Magic has been replaced. My mom got me a new Chi flat iron!!! I will call him Mr. Magic II. Boy did I miss this flat iron. A few days ago I washed my hair but didn't have my blow drier so I just left it curly. The next day, when it was all dry and frizzy, I remembered that I had a new Mr. Magic so I tested it out and let me tell you that this flat iron is magical. It made my very curly hair straight and silky smooth without blow drying first! Also, I didn't put anything in my hair at all. I wish I would have taken before and after pics but I was in such awe that I didn't even think about it.

Lastly, I got some other things like a Snuggie (I love it! Don't judge!), some nice lotion and other beauty products, a purse, and some really cool coffee mugs. I got the new Kanye West CD, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, for Victor and I have been listening to it non stop so far. I like all types of music, as long as the music is talented. I will be honest, there are not much "talented" rappers out there but Kanye West is definitely one of them. The CD is really, really good and I love that he worked with Justin Vernon from Bon Iver (one of my fav Indie bands). I definitely recommend for everyone to listen to it. I know Kanye is a cocky little shit but keep the artist separated from the music and you will see that he really is talented. I can't pick a favorite song yet, so far I think its "Monster," but "Power" and "Runaway" are close second.

All I Want for Christmas

I was trying to come up with a Wish List for Christmas and I realized that the older I get, the less gifts I want. Christmas is becoming less about gifts and more about spending time with loved ones and just reveling in the holiday spirit.

When I was younger, I used to have a whole list of material things that I wanted and thought I needed. It ranged from toys to clothes to games, and so on. Now, I can only come up with one material thing that I actually need and one that I want but dont really need. The rest of the things I really want are intangible, but mean the most to me.

I guess I am starting to realize that, to me, Christmas is not about gifts and spending money. It is more about preparing myself for a new year to come and giving myself a chance to be born again. Its about realizing what is important to me and being thankful that I am able to gift those I love. It's about reflecting over the past year and counting all the little things as my "gifts."

So here is my Christmas Wish List:

1. Another year to actually live my life
2. Happiness
3. Experience
4. Wisdom
5. Comfort and Security
6. Chi Flat Iron (this is something that I actually do need)
7. Amazon Kindle (dont really need it, just want it)

I don't know when I became such a poster child for a holiday Lifetime movie, but deal with it!

Happy Holidays!!

Shameless Plugging

Doing a double post today just because I have a lot on my mind. The holidays are so drama filled and make me so nostalgic. While I enjoyed Christmas, there was also some drama as per usual. I understand why my mother has kept us away from her family. They can be ignorant and hurtful and I see she was just trying to protect us. Although family is important to me, I now see that it doesnt necessarily mean I have to be close to all of them. Lets see what happens for New Years

I also want to take the time to plug for a very talented friend of mine, Delilah (My Favorite Color is Clear) She did an awesome mural on the hallway wall in my apartment. It looks so beautiful and I just love it. She even painted what would be a carving of Victor and my initials in the tree lol.

She also gave me two beatiful decorative art pieces for Christmas. Im hanging them up in my kitchen. She has the cutest stamp which is kind of like her "logo". Its Girl Meets Bunny Productions...how cute?

Also, Im thinking about doing a few colored streaks in my hair. I inserted a hair piece similar to what I would want to get. Im gonna wear it to work and see if they say anything, if not....Ill do it!! What do you think?

Merry Christmas

So Im already drunk and its 6pm on Christmas Eve. This is how I handle the holidays. Ive been on vacation for a few days and have gotten many things done. Such as: painted my apartment and re-decorated my living room. Ill post pics soon

My uncle that I havent seen in a few years came over. He told me stories about my grandfather that I met once as a child. He died many years ago but I dont remember him at all. He also told me stories about my dad when they were younger and my mom too. I guess I dont really know a whole lot about my parents. Its hard to imagine them ever having fun but apparently, they did have fun before my siblings and I were born.

My uncle also told me about another uncle that claimed that I was the only niece he ever loved. Sadly, this uncle passed and I dont remember much about him either. I realized I know nothing about my family at all. They all live in the Dominican Republic, except for a cousin and an uncle that live in the states. Apparently, my mothers side of the family loves me beyond what I ever imagined. I never knew any of this and I feel so guilty for feeling so lonely when I have had a family that has loved me all along.

I dont know why my mother never made sure we were close with her family. She claimes she doesnt like them, but thats not a reason to exclude your children from knowing about them. I learned things about my grandmother and grandfather that I never knew from my uncle. My grandfather passed many years ago and it has been the only time I have seen my mother cry. My grandmother is too senile to know who I am. I also found out she and my mother never got along.

My dad's father died in February this year and although Ididnt know him that well, I knew he loved me. I just hope he knows I loved him too...eventhough I knew so little of him. I recently visited my grandparents house in Dominican Republic and the house felt so empty without him. He showed me that a person can love someone without knowing them. I loved him more than I admitted to myself and his death has affected me more than I have wanted to admit.

Some random updates:
-I got a haircut-I cut about 7 inches off the front to make layers. My hair looks healthier and fuller.

-I am falling in love with Delilah (as a friend of course). She is so awesome and makes me feel like Im not weird and insane. She doesnt judge and shes not embarrassed of me. I need someone like that around. She also drew a fuckawesome mural on my apartment wall in the hallway. I gotta post some pics. She is so talented, its not even funny.

-My godsister is in town. She is another person who I am in love with (like a sister of course). She also understands me and never judges me

-I am also in love with my boyfriend. He is just so awesome and so accepting and non-judgmental. He knows I am like nobody else and he still sticks around and I dont think he is going anywhere. I wish it was easier to tell him how much I love him but its so hard for me because emotions equal weakness in my eyes.

I swear I was meant to be born a man....



The year is about to end and I feel like I am in such a good place in my life. Most days, I have a reason to wake up and that makes all the difference in my life. I have been in a position where I could find no reason to get up in the morning and to be on the opposite side of the spectrum is so meaningful to me. I know that at this very moment, I am too drunk to be posting but I will do so anyway. Just like Caleb from Kings of Leon recorded "Cold Desert" from "Only By the Night" when he was drunk as hell and he pretty much improvised half the song. The truth came out and they kept the song just the way it was after the first recording. Here are some lyrics he improvised:

"Ive never ever cried when I was feeling down

Ive always been scared of the sound

Jesus dont love me, no one ever carried my load

Im too young to feel this old"

How fucking awesome is he?

So Im gonna do exactly what Caled did. I will leave it as is....maybe when I am sober, I will realize something about myself that will change my life just like Caleb did.

Confession aka drunken rant: I love my brother more than anything in this world. He is so fucking cool for his age. I could only wish I would be at his level. I would seriously give up my life for him, no questions asked. If he ever stumbles upon this confession I would want him to know that he has affected my life in ways that are not possible. I have done so many things just to make sure he has had the childhood that was taken away from me. I would give him anything in the world no matter the consequences and that most days, he is my reason for existing. It is so hard to tell him I love him but I would want him to know that he has been my first love since he was born and I wish I could be more just for him. *End of drunken rant*

I hope everyone has a great Christmas and enjoys the holidays.

UPDATED: I made Oreo Balls!!! They were great!!