Every once in a while I get the urge to be mushy and loving, this is one of those times.
Does anyone ever have a moment where they are overpowered by the feelings they have for someone else? Like you are just sitting there and then all of a sudden you get hit with a wave of emotion. You realize things, good or bad, that perhaps you have never noticed before and you are left with a life changing feeling once this moment passes.
This happened to me recently. I started thinking about my husband (still not used to calling him that) and I was overwhelmed by what I felt for him. I realized that we have been together for 8 years and my feelings for him are still as strong as the day I fell in love. If we were to ever part, I would compare every man to him and I know that nobody would ever live up to him.
I still get butterflies before I see him sometimes, I miss him when I dont get to spend time with him even though we live together, and the greatest feeling in the world is falling asleep next to him. Now I know that I am dangerously close to being corny as fuck, but these things are all true and I want to put them out there. I really and truly love my husband, he is one of a kind. He is so sweet, genuine, funny and has the best heart. He had the worst upbringing and had nobody to guide him and yet he managed to authentically be a good person. He kept himself together and went against the odds to make something of himself. That kind of achievement deserves respect and honor.
Everyday I realize how lucky I am to have married someone like him. He lets me be myself and never judges me. He lets me have my freedom and supports all my antics, even when they dont make sense and this lets me know that he wants me to be happy. And because we are a real couple, things are not always rainbows and unicorns, but even at our worst moments, I never have any regrets about him and I have never, ever questioned how I feel about him. In fact, when everything is out of control in my life, the one thing I am sure about is how I feel about him. It's my connection to reality, it keeps me grounded and it brings me back.
And now that I have crossed the corny/pathetic line, I can wrap this up. My husband is not perfect and has many flaws, but so do I. I never believed in marriage but now that I am married, I get it. It is different from just being in a relationship because you take a vow and you are bonded both spiritually and legally. You become family despite not sharing blood and there is nothing more important in life than family. Life is not a fairy tale, he is not Prince Charming, I am not Cinderella. He didnt sweep me up on his white horse or release me from a tower. My life is no Disney movie, but it's still pretty damn perfect.
Title of Song is "Still Into You" by Paramore which describes everything I'm feeling perfectly.
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Friday, April 26, 2013
Thursday, December 13, 2012
2012 A Year in Review
Well I definitely don't write here as often as I did in the past. I truly don't know why because I love to write and I'm sure I could find the time a few days a week. I guess I'll make that a New Year's Resolution then. It's not too early to start talking about the new year since we are exactly 18 days away from 2013.
It really feels like this year just flew by. There are so many things that happen in 12 months but it all just feels like yesterday so it's hard to grasp the fact that so much time has gone by.So I put together a list of all my favorite things that happened in 2012. I think I am gonna try to do this every year going forward.
It really feels like this year just flew by. There are so many things that happen in 12 months but it all just feels like yesterday so it's hard to grasp the fact that so much time has gone by.So I put together a list of all my favorite things that happened in 2012. I think I am gonna try to do this every year going forward.
2012: My Favorite Events
-The triplets turned one
-Made 7 years with Victor
-Saw The Black Keys in concert for the first time
-Visited my godsister in VA
-Started planning my wedding
-Took Alyssa to get her first haircut
-Went apple picking
-Got a Keurig
-My little brother graduated from high school
-Helped my brother move into his dorm
-Victor got his Associates Degree
-Had the opportunity to spend some time in Argentina and Uruguay
- Got to vacation in Dominican Republic with all my best friends and family
-Got MARRIED in Dominican Republic
-Lost 20lbs and have kept them off
-Went to a family reunion for a second year in a row
-Voted for the 3rd time in my life!
-Planned a baby shower :)
-Got to see the triplets begin to grow up
I'm sure there is much more but I cant remember it all. This gives me hope for 2013 because so many wonderful things happened in 2012 without me even making an effort. Come next year, I will make an effort and I think it will be a good year :)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
This is the Start of Something Beautiful, This is the Start of Something New
So it happened, I am officially married now! All the planning and details and phone calls and emails all paid off. The wedding was beautiful and I had such a great time. It was truly an unforgettable experience and I am so glad that we went through with it. No regrets...
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| Maurylyne & Victor 10.19.12 |
Title of post "This" by Ed Sheeran
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
After My Blood Turns Into Alcohol
The mood to write strikes when I feel down and out. At this point, I don't think it matters because I don't think anybody reads this blog anymore anyway.
There are so many exciting and life changing things that will be happening in the next few weeks and while I do feel excited and happy, I am also sad and depressed. I'm scared of change, I'm scared that I don't know what I'm doing, that I wont be ready for these changes, that I'll fail in my new role. There is so much uncertainty about everything that's gonna happen and I cant find a source of comfort or an anchor to root me in this chaos. I have never thought it possible to feel so lonely amidst so much loving and caring people that surround me. I continue to seek the support and approval of the one person who will not give it to me.
At this point, I am doubting things and it's all stacking up. I wish I could just find some stability, some relief, something familiar, something that will let me know it will all be okay. I search and search and have no clue what I'm looking for. All I know is I have yet to find it. When will I feel like I will be okay?
I feel like I have lost so much in the past year and I'm still grieving what I thought my life was gonna be like. What I wanted my life to be like, what I EXPECTED my life to be like. At what point will I accept that nothing is like it was? At what point will I be okay with the fact that things wont ever be the same? Do I have to lose myself in the process of accepting change and adapting? Or do I become a different person? Or do I simply live in a perpetual state of nostalgia? I have so many questions and don't know where to begin to find the answers I need.
Title of post is from "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
There are so many exciting and life changing things that will be happening in the next few weeks and while I do feel excited and happy, I am also sad and depressed. I'm scared of change, I'm scared that I don't know what I'm doing, that I wont be ready for these changes, that I'll fail in my new role. There is so much uncertainty about everything that's gonna happen and I cant find a source of comfort or an anchor to root me in this chaos. I have never thought it possible to feel so lonely amidst so much loving and caring people that surround me. I continue to seek the support and approval of the one person who will not give it to me.
At this point, I am doubting things and it's all stacking up. I wish I could just find some stability, some relief, something familiar, something that will let me know it will all be okay. I search and search and have no clue what I'm looking for. All I know is I have yet to find it. When will I feel like I will be okay?
I feel like I have lost so much in the past year and I'm still grieving what I thought my life was gonna be like. What I wanted my life to be like, what I EXPECTED my life to be like. At what point will I accept that nothing is like it was? At what point will I be okay with the fact that things wont ever be the same? Do I have to lose myself in the process of accepting change and adapting? Or do I become a different person? Or do I simply live in a perpetual state of nostalgia? I have so many questions and don't know where to begin to find the answers I need.
Title of post is from "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Alterations
About 5 weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers. I realized that my wedding date was approaching fast and I was not finding the motivation I needed to get into the shape I would be happy in for my wedding. I needed some sort of guidance, schedule, a checkpoint or something so I decided to try Weight Watchers.
It has been the best decision I have made as far as healthy living/weight loss goes. It's so easy, a first grader could do it. You just put in your current weight, your goal weight and the amount of time you want to lose the weight in. Then they calculate how many "points" you can eat per day in order to achieve your weight loss goal.
The point system is really so simple and effective. Virtually anything you eat can be found in the points database and instead of counting calories, fat grams, sodium, etc, you simply count points. So for example, I am allowed 30 points per day (points vary on the amount of weight you want to lose and the amount of time you have.) All fruits and vegetables have no points, so you could eat them all day and they don't count towards your daily count.
Now, I will admit that 30 points per day is NOT a lot of points at all. I could easily eat 12 points in just one meal (medium french fries are 11 points, Chinese food is easily 25 points, 4 chicken nuggets is 6 points, medium Hagen daze sorbet is 12 points, see where I'm going?) On a healthier note, a 6 oz container of Chobani Greek Yogurt is 4 points alone, so I have to plan out what I eat well and I have to incorporate a lot of fruits and veggies in my day so that I stay satisfied and full.
In addition to your daily points, you get a number of plus points to spread out during the week. So basically they are like cheat points in case you go out that week and eat a little extra or something like that. I have an additional 49 points per week, so basically 7 extra points per day. I am proud to say that I have never used my entire 49 points in the weeks I have been doing this. Some days I go over my 30 by a few points, and on the weekends I use up a few as well, but I try not to use the plus points at all.
Let me tell you that it has been a lot easier than it sounds. At first, I struggled to stay within my 30 daily points and I felt like nothing satisfied me. I was frustrated because I wanted to eat fries like everyone else was but I knew that if I did, I would have to eat fruits the rest of the day. I was not happy at all, but at some point between week 1 and now currently week 5, something changed. I subconsciously started making healthier food choices, even when I was going out to eat.
I no longer crave or desire greasy fast food anymore. I find myself looking forward to eating that peach or my spinach salad. Once in a while, I want something sweet or fatty and I'll take one or two spoonfuls of ice cream or cake. If I really, really crave something, I'll just eat it and adjust the rest of my day accordingly. I dont feel deprived, I NEVER feel hungry and even when I just have the munchies, I still make healthy food choices. It's crazy because it's like I dont even know who I am anymore lol. I have been able to sit with a group of people eating salad or drinking water, while they all eat a hot fudge brownie or a slice of pizza and I have been okay. Once you get over those initial 2 weeks, things get so much easier. Your cravings are controlled and eating healthy becomes a habit, not a chore.
Weight Watchers works, I have watched my body change in just 5 weeks. I have lost a total of about 15lbs in 5 weeks, without doing intensive workouts (actually I barely work out at all to be honest.) I have consistently lost 2-3lbs every week, so I know it's healthy weight loss that I will not allow to come back. I am going to start a workout routine since I only have 2 months left til the wedding and I'm sure this will tone me up and help with even more weight loss.
A few days ago, I tried on my wedding dress. When I purchased it in May, it was very tight, especially in the hip area. My stomach was permanently sucked in while wearing the dress and I never dared to try and sit down while wearing it because it was just so tight. When I tried on the same dress a few days ago, it wouldn't even stay on! I had to hold the dress up on me so it wouldn't slip and I have so much more room in my hips. The dress is so much more flattering on me now and I cant wait to see how much better it will look when I finish losing these 30 lbs!!
It has been the best decision I have made as far as healthy living/weight loss goes. It's so easy, a first grader could do it. You just put in your current weight, your goal weight and the amount of time you want to lose the weight in. Then they calculate how many "points" you can eat per day in order to achieve your weight loss goal.
The point system is really so simple and effective. Virtually anything you eat can be found in the points database and instead of counting calories, fat grams, sodium, etc, you simply count points. So for example, I am allowed 30 points per day (points vary on the amount of weight you want to lose and the amount of time you have.) All fruits and vegetables have no points, so you could eat them all day and they don't count towards your daily count.
Now, I will admit that 30 points per day is NOT a lot of points at all. I could easily eat 12 points in just one meal (medium french fries are 11 points, Chinese food is easily 25 points, 4 chicken nuggets is 6 points, medium Hagen daze sorbet is 12 points, see where I'm going?) On a healthier note, a 6 oz container of Chobani Greek Yogurt is 4 points alone, so I have to plan out what I eat well and I have to incorporate a lot of fruits and veggies in my day so that I stay satisfied and full.
In addition to your daily points, you get a number of plus points to spread out during the week. So basically they are like cheat points in case you go out that week and eat a little extra or something like that. I have an additional 49 points per week, so basically 7 extra points per day. I am proud to say that I have never used my entire 49 points in the weeks I have been doing this. Some days I go over my 30 by a few points, and on the weekends I use up a few as well, but I try not to use the plus points at all.
Let me tell you that it has been a lot easier than it sounds. At first, I struggled to stay within my 30 daily points and I felt like nothing satisfied me. I was frustrated because I wanted to eat fries like everyone else was but I knew that if I did, I would have to eat fruits the rest of the day. I was not happy at all, but at some point between week 1 and now currently week 5, something changed. I subconsciously started making healthier food choices, even when I was going out to eat.
I no longer crave or desire greasy fast food anymore. I find myself looking forward to eating that peach or my spinach salad. Once in a while, I want something sweet or fatty and I'll take one or two spoonfuls of ice cream or cake. If I really, really crave something, I'll just eat it and adjust the rest of my day accordingly. I dont feel deprived, I NEVER feel hungry and even when I just have the munchies, I still make healthy food choices. It's crazy because it's like I dont even know who I am anymore lol. I have been able to sit with a group of people eating salad or drinking water, while they all eat a hot fudge brownie or a slice of pizza and I have been okay. Once you get over those initial 2 weeks, things get so much easier. Your cravings are controlled and eating healthy becomes a habit, not a chore.
Weight Watchers works, I have watched my body change in just 5 weeks. I have lost a total of about 15lbs in 5 weeks, without doing intensive workouts (actually I barely work out at all to be honest.) I have consistently lost 2-3lbs every week, so I know it's healthy weight loss that I will not allow to come back. I am going to start a workout routine since I only have 2 months left til the wedding and I'm sure this will tone me up and help with even more weight loss.
A few days ago, I tried on my wedding dress. When I purchased it in May, it was very tight, especially in the hip area. My stomach was permanently sucked in while wearing the dress and I never dared to try and sit down while wearing it because it was just so tight. When I tried on the same dress a few days ago, it wouldn't even stay on! I had to hold the dress up on me so it wouldn't slip and I have so much more room in my hips. The dress is so much more flattering on me now and I cant wait to see how much better it will look when I finish losing these 30 lbs!!
Friday, August 10, 2012
I'm Half Alive But Feel Mostly Dead
Today I feel so sad that I have to write about it in order to let some of this sadness go.
I've been watching a lot of wedding shows on TLC and WEtv. Not only are they entertaining but I like to see what other people are doing in their weddings or what kind of wedding dresses people are buying, etc. After several marathons the past few weeks, I noticed a trend: every single person chosen for all these shows (Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings, My Fair Wedding with David Tuttera, etc) has so much love and support in their lives. I mean these women bring a crowd of people with them just to select a wedding dress. Every single person cries when she chooses the right dress. The mom is so proud of the daughter and the father is so happy, etc. They have nothing but nice things to say about the bride and how deserving she is of everything she is getting.
What the fuck? Is this real life? I've come to the conclusion that either people like me dont get married or these television networks dont select people like me or with similar stories to go on TV. I have never seen a bride on any of these shows that I could relate to and it makes me sad because I start to realize that my wedding experience has been far from fairy tale worthy so far. As a matter of fact, nothing in my life has ever been fairy tale worthy and it just makes me wonder why?
My wedding is planned on the tightest and lowest of budgets. I am getting no financial help or support for this from anyone. It is all coming out of the money I have saved for years and once that is used up, the rest will be paid by credit cards. My mom didnt go with me to pick out my wedding dress and when I tried it on for her, she didnt cry with joy at all. She hates my dress and tried to convince me to get a different one. Now I question my dress and wonder if it's even right for me. I feel like I'm settling because the price was affordable and so far I've had to settle for so many things simply because I cant afford what I really want.
Perhaps the saddest part of this all, is that my father will not be attending my wedding. Not because he cant, but because he doesnt want to. He gave me every excuse in the book and when I refuted each excuse with a valid point, he flat out told me he refused to come. I've held on to that news for a little while now and had to release it before it consumed me. So I will not have my father give me away at my wedding and I will not have a father/daughter dance. My father will not tear up as I say my vows, he will not beam with pride and he will not think I am the most beautiful bride.
This all just makes me wonder what all those other girls have that I dont? Why do they get unconditional love and support? Why do they get unlimited budgets to select their dresses and to prepare their wedding? Why do they get to live out their dreams and I dont? It all makes me feel so inadequate and miserable.
I dont want to seem like I dont appreciate the support I have gotten so far, because I really and truly do. There have been many, many people that have been there for me thus far and my gratitude cannot be expressed in words. They have kept me going so far. I guess the problem is that I still have not gotten the support I need the most, the support I have seeked for years, the support that will sustain me,
What the fuck? Is this real life? I've come to the conclusion that either people like me dont get married or these television networks dont select people like me or with similar stories to go on TV. I have never seen a bride on any of these shows that I could relate to and it makes me sad because I start to realize that my wedding experience has been far from fairy tale worthy so far. As a matter of fact, nothing in my life has ever been fairy tale worthy and it just makes me wonder why?
My wedding is planned on the tightest and lowest of budgets. I am getting no financial help or support for this from anyone. It is all coming out of the money I have saved for years and once that is used up, the rest will be paid by credit cards. My mom didnt go with me to pick out my wedding dress and when I tried it on for her, she didnt cry with joy at all. She hates my dress and tried to convince me to get a different one. Now I question my dress and wonder if it's even right for me. I feel like I'm settling because the price was affordable and so far I've had to settle for so many things simply because I cant afford what I really want.
Perhaps the saddest part of this all, is that my father will not be attending my wedding. Not because he cant, but because he doesnt want to. He gave me every excuse in the book and when I refuted each excuse with a valid point, he flat out told me he refused to come. I've held on to that news for a little while now and had to release it before it consumed me. So I will not have my father give me away at my wedding and I will not have a father/daughter dance. My father will not tear up as I say my vows, he will not beam with pride and he will not think I am the most beautiful bride.
I will walk myself down the aisle. I will give myself away.
This all just makes me wonder what all those other girls have that I dont? Why do they get unconditional love and support? Why do they get unlimited budgets to select their dresses and to prepare their wedding? Why do they get to live out their dreams and I dont? It all makes me feel so inadequate and miserable.
I dont want to seem like I dont appreciate the support I have gotten so far, because I really and truly do. There have been many, many people that have been there for me thus far and my gratitude cannot be expressed in words. They have kept me going so far. I guess the problem is that I still have not gotten the support I need the most, the support I have seeked for years, the support that will sustain me,
the support from my father.
Title of post from "You Were Meant For Me" by Jewel
Thursday, May 17, 2012
I and I
So my life has been completely swallowed up by wedding planning, almost every minute of my day consists of getting something done for this wedding...even though its 5 months away. Despite all my time being devoted to this, I have to say that I absolutely love love LOVE planning this wedding.
Actually, I love planning and coordinating events in general. I have also taken on planning a July baby shower for a friend. I enjoy the creative process that goes into getting everything together. I enjoy making the phone calls to vendors and to find out information. I love coming up with decor themes and ideas, I just really enjoy the stress. It's invigorating rather than unhealthy. It's the endorphin inducing kind of stress, not the chemical imbalance kind and it is really good for me to feel like this.
I was at quite a low point almost two months ago, but I have to say that I have been feeling better. I have started an exercise routine and have changed my eating habits quite a bit. I am also taking vitamin B12 and fish oil and they have made such a difference in my energy levels and moods. I am generally in good spirits, which is such an accomplishment for me. I have my low, dark moments but it is no longer a consistent feeling. I am working so hard at maintaining myself at this level. It's crazy how much of an effort I have to make to avoid numbness, but it has certainly been worth it. I have accepted that I might never be what some might call "balanced" but the result of the work I put in outweighs the dark, abysmal and gaping hole.
Actually, I love planning and coordinating events in general. I have also taken on planning a July baby shower for a friend. I enjoy the creative process that goes into getting everything together. I enjoy making the phone calls to vendors and to find out information. I love coming up with decor themes and ideas, I just really enjoy the stress. It's invigorating rather than unhealthy. It's the endorphin inducing kind of stress, not the chemical imbalance kind and it is really good for me to feel like this.
I was at quite a low point almost two months ago, but I have to say that I have been feeling better. I have started an exercise routine and have changed my eating habits quite a bit. I am also taking vitamin B12 and fish oil and they have made such a difference in my energy levels and moods. I am generally in good spirits, which is such an accomplishment for me. I have my low, dark moments but it is no longer a consistent feeling. I am working so hard at maintaining myself at this level. It's crazy how much of an effort I have to make to avoid numbness, but it has certainly been worth it. I have accepted that I might never be what some might call "balanced" but the result of the work I put in outweighs the dark, abysmal and gaping hole.
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| It may seem easy to live numbly but please, promise me, you wont ever forget how to feel |
Thursday, February 23, 2012
And I'll Love You Always
I've been planning my wedding and so far it is really not as simple as I thought it would be. I really don't want this whole big event with 200 people and a catering hall. Truly I want the most minimal type wedding. I am not the Cinderella kind...I wouldn't have minded eloping in Vegas to be honest.
However, we decided to have an actual ceremony. When I picture myself getting married, I see myself on a beach so we have decided to do a destination wedding in Dominican Republic. I love the appeal of waves in the background and pictures with the sunset and my feet dipped in the ocean.
I want something simple, minimal, and elegant with a touch of vintage. The more minimal and simple things are, the better. I want everything to be white, including flowers and decor and have a pop of an accent color. I'm thinking yellow. I would also want the bridal party to all wear white too and I think it would be beautiful if all guests were dressed in white as well.
With the simplicity of my requests, I thought this would be an easy thing to plan. It really, really isn't. There are so many little things involved...invitations, music, decor, menu, etc. Decisions, decisions, decisions!
However, we decided to have an actual ceremony. When I picture myself getting married, I see myself on a beach so we have decided to do a destination wedding in Dominican Republic. I love the appeal of waves in the background and pictures with the sunset and my feet dipped in the ocean.
I want something simple, minimal, and elegant with a touch of vintage. The more minimal and simple things are, the better. I want everything to be white, including flowers and decor and have a pop of an accent color. I'm thinking yellow. I would also want the bridal party to all wear white too and I think it would be beautiful if all guests were dressed in white as well.
With the simplicity of my requests, I thought this would be an easy thing to plan. It really, really isn't. There are so many little things involved...invitations, music, decor, menu, etc. Decisions, decisions, decisions!
Title of post is "Part One" by Band of Horses
Monday, February 13, 2012
I'm Still Around
It seems like I have less and less time to myself nowadays. I literally have not been able to find 20 min to post on my blog. There are so many things going on right now. I have a very bad habit of always keeping myself super busy and working on some sort of project.
Here's an update of whats been going on so far:
1. Work-As much as I hate what I do, apparently I am good at it. I recently got a very unexpected promotion. I am now a balance sheet lead for global technological services at IBM. So I manage the companies technological assets and liabilties. This was truly unexpected as I had only been in my dept for less than a year, but I accepted the promotion for the challenge and the fact that it would look great on my resume. I hope I dont regret my decision
2. Family-The triplets turned one last week and I planned their birthday party. It was a small get together just for our families. I enjoyed planning it and everything turned out great. I spend a lot of my free time with the triplets and my sister. As crazy as those kids can get, I start to miss them if I dont see them every few days. I want to be a huge part of their life and I want to make sure they know and understand this. I never want them to miss me.
3. Relationship-So Victor and I just recently celebrated our seven year anniversary on the 9th of this month. I am absolutely certain that he is the one for me and after seven years together, and almost 2 years of being engaged, I finally decided to get these wedding plans started. We have decided on a destination wedding to Dominican Republic in October of this year. So I have been busy looking up wedding ideas and locations so I can finalize everything ASAP. I know that I'll blink and it will be Sept and I'll have nothing done, so I'm making sure to start early. I am enjoying planning this and it will definitely keep me busy for most of the year.
4. Health-I stepped off the exercize wagon when I went to DR in December and I thought I would just climb back on but it has proven to be difficult. I am definitely gonna get myself back on, especially since I am going to have to go wedding dress shopping in a few months. I refuse to not look and feel my best on my wedding day.
5. Other-Along with the wedding planning, I am working on trying to finish decorating my apartment. I plan to stay here for quite some time while we save up to buy a house, so I want it to be comfortable and beautiful. So far, it feels large and empty so I have a few DIY projects I'm gonna start working on to fill up empty wall space.
I am also working on getting rid of all my debt by the end of this year. I am taking this so seriously, it's not even funny. I havent been going out at all and I have been so broke this whole year because I am sending ludicrous amounts of money to pay off my credit cards. I even set up this spreadsheet where I can cross off things as I pay them and I'll know how much credit I have available and where to move around my balances so that I could pay the least interest. This is no joke to me
I am excited about this year. I think I am gonna get a lot accomplished and I have a lot to look forward to.
Here's an update of whats been going on so far:
1. Work-As much as I hate what I do, apparently I am good at it. I recently got a very unexpected promotion. I am now a balance sheet lead for global technological services at IBM. So I manage the companies technological assets and liabilties. This was truly unexpected as I had only been in my dept for less than a year, but I accepted the promotion for the challenge and the fact that it would look great on my resume. I hope I dont regret my decision
2. Family-The triplets turned one last week and I planned their birthday party. It was a small get together just for our families. I enjoyed planning it and everything turned out great. I spend a lot of my free time with the triplets and my sister. As crazy as those kids can get, I start to miss them if I dont see them every few days. I want to be a huge part of their life and I want to make sure they know and understand this. I never want them to miss me.
3. Relationship-So Victor and I just recently celebrated our seven year anniversary on the 9th of this month. I am absolutely certain that he is the one for me and after seven years together, and almost 2 years of being engaged, I finally decided to get these wedding plans started. We have decided on a destination wedding to Dominican Republic in October of this year. So I have been busy looking up wedding ideas and locations so I can finalize everything ASAP. I know that I'll blink and it will be Sept and I'll have nothing done, so I'm making sure to start early. I am enjoying planning this and it will definitely keep me busy for most of the year.
4. Health-I stepped off the exercize wagon when I went to DR in December and I thought I would just climb back on but it has proven to be difficult. I am definitely gonna get myself back on, especially since I am going to have to go wedding dress shopping in a few months. I refuse to not look and feel my best on my wedding day.
5. Other-Along with the wedding planning, I am working on trying to finish decorating my apartment. I plan to stay here for quite some time while we save up to buy a house, so I want it to be comfortable and beautiful. So far, it feels large and empty so I have a few DIY projects I'm gonna start working on to fill up empty wall space.
I am also working on getting rid of all my debt by the end of this year. I am taking this so seriously, it's not even funny. I havent been going out at all and I have been so broke this whole year because I am sending ludicrous amounts of money to pay off my credit cards. I even set up this spreadsheet where I can cross off things as I pay them and I'll know how much credit I have available and where to move around my balances so that I could pay the least interest. This is no joke to me
I am excited about this year. I think I am gonna get a lot accomplished and I have a lot to look forward to.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Anything To Make You Smile...
Im currently LOVING 'No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses. Thinking about making it my wedding song :)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
A Declaration of Love
So I've been quite obsessed with a Death Cab for Cutie song called "I Will Follow You Into The Dark." Its been replaying in my head over and over for a few days now. Besides the fact that its a great song, I wonder what it is that appeals to me.
I interpret the entire song as a declaration of love. Someone telling their loved one that they will always be with them, even after death. "Love of mine, someday you will die/But I'll follow close behind/I'll follow you into the dark."
This person believes so strongly in love that they are willing to follow someone into the abyss as long as they get to be with them. "If there's no one beside you/When your soul embarks/Then I'll follow you into the dark."
I just find this so...endearing. Such a creative way to express how much you love someone without having to say "I love you." I guess the appeal of this song is that its a love story and it touches my cold, black heart in some way. It stirs a warmth that is healthy to feel at times. Maybe I'll play this at my wedding, if we ever have one. I'm not one for big weddings, so it will be small and intimate and I think this song will be beautiful and fitting because the person I will marry is the reason I know my heart still beats.
On a side note: I think Im going to learn to play the piano :)
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