Still Into You

Every once in a while I get the urge to be mushy and loving, this is one of those times.

Does anyone ever have a moment where they are overpowered by the feelings they have for someone else? Like you are just sitting there and then all of a sudden you get hit with a wave of emotion. You realize things, good or bad, that perhaps you have never noticed before and you are left with a life changing feeling once this moment passes.

This happened to me recently. I started thinking about my husband (still not used to calling him that) and I was overwhelmed by what I felt for him. I realized that we have been together for 8 years and my feelings for him are still as strong as the day I fell in love. If we were to ever part, I would compare every man to him and I know that nobody would ever live up to him.

I still get butterflies before I see him sometimes, I miss him when I dont get to spend time with him even though we live together, and the greatest feeling in the world is falling asleep next to him. Now I know that I am dangerously close to being corny as fuck, but these things are all true and I want to put them out there. I really and truly love my husband, he is one of a kind. He is so sweet, genuine, funny and has the best heart. He had the worst upbringing and had nobody to guide him and yet he managed to authentically be a good person. He kept himself together and went against the odds to make something of himself. That kind of achievement deserves respect and honor.

Everyday I realize how lucky I am to have married someone like him. He lets me be myself and never judges me. He lets me have my freedom and supports all my antics, even when they dont make sense and this lets me know that he wants me to be happy. And because we are a real couple, things are not always rainbows and unicorns, but even at our worst moments, I never have any regrets about him and I have never, ever questioned how I feel about him. In fact, when everything is out of control in my life, the one thing I am sure about is how I feel about him. It's my connection to reality, it keeps me grounded and it brings me back.

And now that I have crossed the corny/pathetic line, I can wrap this up. My husband is not perfect and has many flaws, but so do I. I never believed in marriage but now that I am married, I get it. It is different from just being in a relationship because you take a vow and you are bonded both spiritually and legally. You become family despite not sharing blood and there is nothing more important in life than family. Life is not a fairy tale, he is not Prince Charming, I am not Cinderella. He didnt sweep me up on his white horse or release me from a tower. My life is no Disney movie, but it's still pretty damn perfect.



Title of Song is "Still Into You" by Paramore which describes everything I'm feeling perfectly. 

This is the Start of Something Beautiful, This is the Start of Something New



Maurylyne & Victor
10.19.12

So it happened, I am officially married now! All the planning and details and phone calls and emails all paid off. The wedding was beautiful and I had such a great time. It was truly an unforgettable experience and I am so glad that we went through with it. No regrets... 

Title of post "This" by Ed Sheeran

AAA

 On a positive note, I have to express how proud and happy I am to have my niece and nephews in my life. They have single handedly been the best thing that ever happened to me. They bring nothing but joy to my life and have truly been a blessing.

The love I feel for these babies can never be put into words. I am honored to be able to watch them grow and learn new things. They are the most perfect and beautiful babies I have ever seen and I will love them unconditionally for their entire lives.

Aaron, Alex and Alyssa have my heart in its entirety. I will always love them.



Alexander



Alyssa



Aaron









Day 11-Write a Poem to Someone You Love

It has been a LONG time since I have done this, but here it goes:

I was doubtful about you
Could not predict our future
Couldnt clearly see you and me becoming we
Not enough reasons to be together
But plenty to stay apart

Yet I jumped in anyway
With my heart then my brain
At times, my decision seemed foolish
Naive, stupid, immature
I never knew if I had done the right thing

Until one day, I heard your laughter
It rose from the pit of your stomach
It rang through your chest
That sound, that precious sound
Took away all doubt from my mind

Everything has been worth it
All the struggles, obstacles and trials
Everything is worth doing again
As long as I get to hear your laughter
For the rest of my life

You Could Be The One I'll Always Love

I have recently discovered that maybe love does exist after all

Title post is "Unintended" by Muse

If You Give Up New York...

I havent been writing as often as I like because I have been busier than usual at work. I have like 4 blog posts started but I have not had a chance to complete, so I am gonna try to complete them now.

As you all know, I went to see Kings of Leon last week. I have been obsessed with their new album "Come Around Sundown" for the past month. One song that really stood out to me was "The Face" particularly because of the following lyric:

"If you give up New York

I"ll give you Tennessee

The only place to be"

I just love the meaning behind this lyric. It is truly a fair proposition. He is asking someone to give up where they are from, a place they love and feel comfortable in, a place they call home. However, in return, he will not let this person feel lost or misplaced, he will give this person his home (Kings of Leon are from Tennessee). He knows that he is asking for so much but he is offering just as much in return. I think this is an ultimate declaration of love on both sides. To give up part of who you are, only to receive part of someone else. The thought is daunting and yet so beautiful. I am so impressed that with this simple lyric, I can feel these emotions.

Another reason this lyric resounds with me is that it makes me really think about the enormity that is New York. There truly is nothing like it in the entire world. I always say that I dont want to spend the rest of my life in New York, and that is true, but this has made me think about what it would feel like when I am finally ready give it up. New York is all I have known. It has been one of the factors in my life that has molded me and shaped me into who I am today.

New York is not an easy place to live in. Its expensive and noisy, it's an all or nothing type of city, dog eat dog, survival of the fittest and not everyone is made for a place like this. But while it has its bad qualities, it is also booming with diversity, culture, lights, sounds, music, people, fashion, cuisine, etc. There are things seen here that you wont see anywhere else and I have finally learned to appreciate the fact that I have had the opportunity to experience this wonderful city. I have also realized that I am not yet ready to give it up....

The Face (HQ) by Kings of Leon (lyrics) - These bloopers are hilarious

Anything To Make You Smile...

Im currently LOVING 'No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses. Thinking about making it my wedding song :)

Why Wont You Live For Me?

I've been listening to some, what would now be considered old school, 90's music and I think I'll start sharing some good songs in hopes that it will bring back memories or I could introduce people to what I listened to back in the day. I noticed that I liked a very wide variety of music back then, just like I do now.

So, does anyone remember The Fugees and their big hit Killing Me Softly? I've been obsessively listening to some of their lead singer's, Lauryn Hill, songs off her "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" album. Back in the day, this album was revered. It was like a 90's masterpiece, and I have to agree. There are some excellent, EXCELLENT songs on this album. Lauryn Hill is the motherf*cking shit in this album.

I'm not sure what happened to her but I believe she peaked with this album because her new stuff does not compare. One song that I truly love is The Ex-Factor. I think everyone can relate to these lyrics. Its about that one person that you know you need to walk away from but at the same time you need them in your life. Its about truly loving someone to the point where they are the only one that can hurt you. Its about falling into a cycle of love and pain. At the end, she asks "why wont you live for me?" and the way she says this brings tears to my eyes. Its just brilliant...

Anyone Else But You

When I started this blog, I didnt tell my boyfriend about it. There was no particular reason for this. Im not writing anything that I dont want him to know or that he doesnt already know. I guess I just wanted to have something to myself, but then I realized that I am sharing this with everyone in the world that happens to stumble upon it. So, essentially, its not very personal.

He found out about it a few days ago and I cant tell if he was upset about it or not. I guess he felt I was keeping something from him, which I am not. I debated whether I should let him read it and then I decided that I will. This could be a good way for my boyfriend to understand the things that go through my head. Sometimes its difficult for me to talk about what I feel or what Im thinking. I find its a lot easier to write about it and I always feel better after I do. This could also be a way for me to tell him the things I cannot say to him, to let him know how I really feel about things.
In 4 days, we will make 5 years of being together. They have not been a passive or a perfect 5 years. They have been a tumultous, difficult, stressful, and bipolar set of 5 years but I would do them all over again if they lead to where we are now. I have grown up with him and become the very different person I am now. He has been with me through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. He has NEVER tried to change me into something I am not. He has always accepted me, never judged me, never made me feel bad about myself, and he has never put me down.
He is my polar opposite who in some ways is too good for me. He has the most genuine and kind heart I have ever encountered. He is understanding and kind. He is passionate about the smallest, unimportant things and the grandest things. He can piss me off but make me smile with a funny face or dance move or word. He is shy, reserved, he mumbles, and is almost anti-social. He is indifferent and insecure but strong and beautiful all at once.
He is troubled, has issues, is both sensitve and angry. He explains things thoroughly and takes forever to get to the point. Sometimes I dont understand him, and neither does he. He is different and so am I. He is not perfect, but neither am I. But in our imperfection, we are both perfect.

And I dont see what anyone can see in anyone else but you

Michael Cera and Ellen Page version from "Juno"

A Declaration of Love

So I've been quite obsessed with a Death Cab for Cutie song called "I Will Follow You Into The Dark." Its been replaying in my head over and over for a few days now. Besides the fact that its a great song, I wonder what it is that appeals to me.

I interpret the entire song as a declaration of love. Someone telling their loved one that they will always be with them, even after death. "Love of mine, someday you will die/But I'll follow close behind/I'll follow you into the dark."

This person believes so strongly in love that they are willing to follow someone into the abyss as long as they get to be with them. "If there's no one beside you/When your soul embarks/Then I'll follow you into the dark."

I just find this so...endearing. Such a creative way to express how much you love someone without having to say "I love you." I guess the appeal of this song is that its a love story and it touches my cold, black heart in some way. It stirs a warmth that is healthy to feel at times. Maybe I'll play this at my wedding, if we ever have one. I'm not one for big weddings, so it will be small and intimate and I think this song will be beautiful and fitting because the person I will marry is the reason I know my heart still beats.

On a side note: I think Im going to learn to play the piano :)