Live On and Be Yourself

I am not a fan of hip hop music, but every once in a while a hip hop artist I find worthy comes around. I heard the song "Same Love" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis for the first time a few days ago and I was struck by how incredible it was. It almost brought me to tears. It discusses gay rights and same sex equality in such an intelligent way that it is almost like a lecture and I havent been able to stop listening to it.

Personally, I have always been an LGBT supporter. I truly and honestly do not see anything wrong with being gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, bi-curious, and whatever else is out there. Everyone is different and nobody has the right to judge people for being who they are.

NOBODY. 

The song has a great lyric, among many, that says:

 "A preconceived idea of what it all meant/For those that liked the same sex/Had the characteristics/The right wing conservatives think it's a decision/And you can be cured with some treatment and religion/Man-made rewiring of a predisposition/Playing God." 

 To me this means that gay people are just being who they were born to be, they arent choosing to be gay and they cannot be fixed with treatment. It's just like race, you are born into it, you cant choose to be Black or White or Asian or American, you just are who you are. It really is that simple and I'm not sure where it all went wrong. I'm not sure what gave people the right to judge others for just being themselves. What makes any of us straight people any better than gay people? So what if they don't like people of the opposite sex? I dont like red meat, does that make me any less of a human being? 

NO.

Recently, one of my nephews was caught putting on lipstick and my sister yelled at him and snatched the lipstick away from him. She told him that lipstick is for girls and he shouldnt be wearing it. My nephew got upset and I told my sister that she shouldnt have done that. She shouldnt have yelled at him for experimenting with lipstick. He is 2 1/2, what does he know about makeup? He is curious and had probably seen her wearing lipstick and wanted to try it too.

Aside from yelling, the mistake she made was upsetting him for being curious. What if he turns out to be gay? That incident might be something that sticks in his head and he might feel like it's not okay to be himself. I advised her to make sure that her children feel like they can be who they want. She needs to make sure they know that they will be loved and supported no matter what. I told her not to mold them into preconceived notions of boys only wearing blue and playing with cars and girls wearing pink and playing with dolls. If my nephews want to play with dolls, let them. If my niece wants to play with cars, so be it. I tried to make it a point to her that her children fitting into the roles of society is not important. What is important is them feeling that they have the freedom to express themselves any way they want to and that if society does not accept them, then the people who matter and who love them always will.

And I urge everyone to do this. You never know the difference you can make in someones life by just telling them "I support you" or by making them feel like them being different from you doesnt change anything. I think the saddest thing in the world is when you dont have the freedom to be who you want to be, love who you want to love and just live how you want to live because others arent comfortable enough with themselves to accept that you are different. Here is another lyric from "Same Love" that resonates with me:

 "When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are"

All these homophobes ,who use the Bible to defend their unjust and ridiculous excuses, have is issues with themselves. If you are comfortable with your sexuality and who you are, then what does another persons sexuality have to do with you? Why should it matter to you? How sad is it that there are people who are taking their own lives because they feel like death is better than living? 

As a society, it is imperative that we change. The world is constantly evolving and we dont know what's in store for us ahead. I do believe acceptance is happening slowly. There are certain laws that have recently been approved and little by little, the states are making same sex marriage legal. It is important that this change continues because in the long run, there are more important things to worry about. Same sex equality doesnt make the world a terrible place, but the hate and ignorance that comes from people does. 

I commend Macklemore for writing "Same Love" and for challenging society. I commend him for using his celebrity status to get a positive message across and for encouraging people to take a step back and reconsider their way of thinking. I commend him for putting something out there that will bring comfort to those that are struggling to come to terms with themselves and I hope and truly believe that this song will help many.

If I could send a message to all the people who are facing internal battles, I would tell them to just live your life the way you want to live it. Dont ever change yourself to comfort others, dont ever deny yourself the right and the opportunity to do what you want to do and be who you want to be. It is an opportunity that is inherent and cannot be taken away from you by anybody. You have a right to pursue happiness and if it makes others uncomfortable, that is their problem, not yours. As "Same Love" states: "Live on and be yourself."

Your Only Flaw, You Are Flawless

Can we talk about how flawless Demi Lovato is? Yes, I know she is a Disney star. Yes, I am fan girling. Yes, I am aware that I am inching my way to 30 years old and probably shouldn't engage in this type of behavior, but I am who I am. I am also not ashamed to admit that I just spent my whole morning watching YouTube videos of Demi performing nor am I ashamed to admit that if she goes on tour, I AM BUYING TICKETS!

Out of all the Disney stars, this girl is actually really talented. She has one of the strongest voices I have heard in quite some time. I mean there is so much power in her voice that it's almost hard to believe. Her vocal range is out of this world and when she opens her mouth to sing, I get goosebumps. I mean, she really blows all these other young artists out of the water. It;s like there is a mature edge to her voice, a hoarseness, that can only be developed from experience. At her ripe age of 20, she has been through quite a ride. 

Demi, like typical childhood stars, was on a downward spiral. She was abusing drugs and alcohol, was self medicating and was basically just out of control.  She hit rock bottom when she physically assaulted one of her backup dancers  and her family stepped in and had an intervention. The admirable thing about her is that she was able to catch herself and pull it together. She ended up going to rehab where she worked through so many issues including self mutilation, eating disorders, and depression. She took full responsibility for all her actions and made an extraordinary recovery. 

After rehab, she was open about her struggles and shared them with the world through a documentary. She wanted  teens going through similar issues to be encouraged to seek help and treatment. She wanted them to know that they were not alone and that they could get through anything. She is also a strong advocate of self love and is one the few celebrities who is absolutely beautiful, curvy and weighs more than 100lbs.  In a world where there are very few role models, I think Demi shines as one of the best and most positive role models teens have nowadays. Personally, I think she is pretty awesome and I admire her for making such a huge change in her life at such a young age. 

 So this amazing and talented girl has recently released a self titled album that I have been listening to relentlessly. I also recently discovered that Demi has covered "How To Love" by Lil' Wayne and "Stay" by Rihanna. Now, everyone knows that I am a sucker for cover songs and I happen to love both those songs, so of course I had to YouTube her performances. Let me tell you that Demi puts both Lil' Wayne and Rihanna to shame. She changed up some of the words to "How To Love" and when she sings the bridge and says "I just want you to know that I deserve the best, I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful...And I just want you to know, I'm far from the usual, far from the usual" I swear a tear streamed down my face because she sings those particular words with such conviction that nobody would doubt she believes them. The same goes for when she sings the bridge in "Stay," she sings it with the same pain Rihanna does but is able to hit a note that drives it home, unlike Rihanna. I swear, both these covers are top quality and they are flawless, just like Demi ;)

*Title of Post is from "Flawless" by The Neighbourhood* 

"Stay" Cover

"How To Love" Cover

What's New?

My previous post was my 200th post on this blog. I decided to make another post just to take the pressure off and bring it to 201 ;)

I just wanted to let people know that there is a lot of good music out there at the moment. I mean seriously good stuff:

Demi Lovato released a new album, "Demi," that is great in a young, adult poppy sense but I really like it. Judge me all you want, I know she is a Disney start but she has an amazing story and voice to go along with it. I mean, this girl can sing! Check out "In Case," "Nightingale," and "Warrior" off her new album so you can hear the pipes she's packing.

My new favorite band, The Neighbourhood, released their album, "I Love You," and it was nothing less than the excellence I expected. Who doesn't love a band that does everything in black and white? They have a great pop sound, meaningful lyrics and a mysterious aura that just lures you in and capture you. Listen to "Sweater Weather" and "Female Robbery" to get a taste of what they are about.

Paramore has a new album, "Paramore," out with a more grown up sound. Hayley Williams' voice has matured as well as their lyrics. You can tell the band is in a different and better place. They tried out a few different sounds so they have some very rock like songs, some pop songs and even have ukeleili's! I like it and to quote one of their own lyrics after all this time, I'm still into them. Listen to "Part II" and "Hate to See Your Heart Break" to hear a new sounds.

Lastly, Fall Out Boy, is not a band that I adamantly listened to in the past because I always felt they were too mainstream and geared towards teenagers (but when has that stopped me?.) However, their new album, "Save Rock and Roll," is awesome. I love their sound, which is really edgy and different from their past music. They've got good beats and it's an album that you can listen to continuously without skipping songs. Try "Phoenix" and "Death Valley" for some upbeat tunes.

And I should officially become a music reviewer for a magazine

You is Smart, You is Kind, You is Important

I am growing up. 

A part of me hates this, but a bigger part of me loves it. 

The hate part stems from the fact that responsibilities are never ending and  no one does things for you. You have to take care of yourself, provide for yourself, feed and clothe yourself, etc. And while these things might sound ideal for those teenagers I follow on tumblr, the reality is that it's not always fun. It's scary as fuck and it causes constant worry and stress. The good news is that you get used to it and become independent, but its still scary to think about sometimes. 

The part of me that loves what is happening is the one that is growing into who I am. We go through such a long and painful journey growing up. Our teenage years are filled with so much drama and so much worrying about fitting in and what other people think about us. There is constant insecurity and we are always trying to live up to other people's expectations. The best thing about growing up is that those things no longer matter. You don't have time to worry about what anyone thinks about you. There is a certain confidence that comes with age. That is why the elderly don't give a shit about what people think of them and go about doing what they want. 

It's hard thing to describe, but there comes a point in your life where you notice that it is okay to not be okay. It's okay to not agree with everyone, to not wear the latest trends or give into the latest obsessions or watch the most popular shows or movies. It's okay to like shitty music and read shitty books and eat shitty food.  There is something special about those people who just live their lives they way they want to, not the way society says they should. Of course, there is nothing wrong with following the crowd, if that is who you really are. There is no right or wrong answer on how to be yourself, as long as you are your true self. 

The title of this post is from one of my favorite movies, called "The Help," where one of the black maids raising a little, chubby white girl who didnt get her mother's attention because she was not what society would describe as perfect, would say this to the little girl every day. Then she would make the little girl repeat it back to her and I cant even begin to tell you the significance of that. Thinking, saying, or  feeling that you are smart, kind and important is the difference between a strong, confident person and a weak, insecure one. 

If only we all had that one person in our lives that told us this constantly and made us believe it. Sadly, most of us don't and most of us figure this out on our own, though it may take years upon years. It may take tragedy, a breakdown, and a disaster but at some point when we are able to rise up from the ashes, we rise up not only knowing those things, but actually believing them.

That is what growing up is.

That is what growing up has been for me. 

And that has been the most liberating and most rewarding feeling I have ever experienced. 

Still Into You

Every once in a while I get the urge to be mushy and loving, this is one of those times.

Does anyone ever have a moment where they are overpowered by the feelings they have for someone else? Like you are just sitting there and then all of a sudden you get hit with a wave of emotion. You realize things, good or bad, that perhaps you have never noticed before and you are left with a life changing feeling once this moment passes.

This happened to me recently. I started thinking about my husband (still not used to calling him that) and I was overwhelmed by what I felt for him. I realized that we have been together for 8 years and my feelings for him are still as strong as the day I fell in love. If we were to ever part, I would compare every man to him and I know that nobody would ever live up to him.

I still get butterflies before I see him sometimes, I miss him when I dont get to spend time with him even though we live together, and the greatest feeling in the world is falling asleep next to him. Now I know that I am dangerously close to being corny as fuck, but these things are all true and I want to put them out there. I really and truly love my husband, he is one of a kind. He is so sweet, genuine, funny and has the best heart. He had the worst upbringing and had nobody to guide him and yet he managed to authentically be a good person. He kept himself together and went against the odds to make something of himself. That kind of achievement deserves respect and honor.

Everyday I realize how lucky I am to have married someone like him. He lets me be myself and never judges me. He lets me have my freedom and supports all my antics, even when they dont make sense and this lets me know that he wants me to be happy. And because we are a real couple, things are not always rainbows and unicorns, but even at our worst moments, I never have any regrets about him and I have never, ever questioned how I feel about him. In fact, when everything is out of control in my life, the one thing I am sure about is how I feel about him. It's my connection to reality, it keeps me grounded and it brings me back.

And now that I have crossed the corny/pathetic line, I can wrap this up. My husband is not perfect and has many flaws, but so do I. I never believed in marriage but now that I am married, I get it. It is different from just being in a relationship because you take a vow and you are bonded both spiritually and legally. You become family despite not sharing blood and there is nothing more important in life than family. Life is not a fairy tale, he is not Prince Charming, I am not Cinderella. He didnt sweep me up on his white horse or release me from a tower. My life is no Disney movie, but it's still pretty damn perfect.



Title of Song is "Still Into You" by Paramore which describes everything I'm feeling perfectly. 

We Remember Moments

Life has been...well, life. I have been feeling good. I have been okay. I'm slowly getting there. The weather is getting better and that has helped me dramatically because the amount of sunlight and warmth there is outside is directly related to the amount of sunlight and warmth I feel inside myself.

I've been enjoying myself. Going to happy hour with co-workers, having lunch with friends, spending time with the triplets, having conversations with my husband (still not used to calling him that,) shopping for random things, playing with my new iPhone, discovering new music, going to concerts (Andrew McMahon, I worship the ground you walk on,) watching less TV, reading more, spending countless hours on tumblr,  searching for a new TV show to obsess over, eating peaches and plums, discovering new uses for coconut oil, decorating a friends new apartment, training for the Color Run,  and just generally taking it easy. I cant wait for summer because this is gonna be one that I'll remember...I just know it.

If I May Just Take Your Breath Away

The older I get, the more I accept myself as I am and for who I am. I dont know if times are changing or if I am just really becoming an adult, but I am really starting to not care about what other people think of me. I actually like myself...sometimes. I have many, many flaws and I am by no means perfect in any way, but I am not ashamed to be me. I am proud to be me, I accept me and I dont care if nobody else does.

It's crazy because I feel that I have always been me no matter what, but in the past I have worried about how I was being perceived. Now, I really cant even stress it. I know who I am: I am obsessive, quite selfish, contradicting, confusing, reserved, young minded, uptight and sometimes dramatic. But at the same time I am also loyal, strong, independent, responsible, creative, amicable, open and sometimes fun. I see both sides of myself and I dont need anybody to point out my flaws or my good qualities.

As I sit here sipping coffee out of my Vampire Diaries (Team Stefan) mug and listening to the Taylor Swift "Red" album, while wearing polka dot pajamas and looking forward to reading the next John Greene novel, I don't feel ashamed about anything. I have a pretty damn awesome life and I plan on enjoying it.



Title of post is from "Sweater Weather" by The Neighbourhood, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE