There is a new year coming and I am feeling optimistic. I feel like this is going to be the year where I make the changes in my life that will lead me to being happy. This is the year where I hope to start the rest of my life.
I plan on paying off all my debt and starting fresh for 2014. I plan on traveling, finally losing those last 20lbs, cooking more, eating healthier, getting a new job, saving money, having fun, and just living. I want this to be the year where I look back and pinpoint it as the start of when things got good. I want to work on having a good and healthy marriage. I want to have fun.
I will try to stay this positive throughout and we will see where this positivity will take me.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
2012 A Year in Review
Well I definitely don't write here as often as I did in the past. I truly don't know why because I love to write and I'm sure I could find the time a few days a week. I guess I'll make that a New Year's Resolution then. It's not too early to start talking about the new year since we are exactly 18 days away from 2013.
It really feels like this year just flew by. There are so many things that happen in 12 months but it all just feels like yesterday so it's hard to grasp the fact that so much time has gone by.So I put together a list of all my favorite things that happened in 2012. I think I am gonna try to do this every year going forward.
It really feels like this year just flew by. There are so many things that happen in 12 months but it all just feels like yesterday so it's hard to grasp the fact that so much time has gone by.So I put together a list of all my favorite things that happened in 2012. I think I am gonna try to do this every year going forward.
2012: My Favorite Events
-The triplets turned one
-Made 7 years with Victor
-Saw The Black Keys in concert for the first time
-Visited my godsister in VA
-Started planning my wedding
-Took Alyssa to get her first haircut
-Went apple picking
-Got a Keurig
-My little brother graduated from high school
-Helped my brother move into his dorm
-Victor got his Associates Degree
-Had the opportunity to spend some time in Argentina and Uruguay
- Got to vacation in Dominican Republic with all my best friends and family
-Got MARRIED in Dominican Republic
-Lost 20lbs and have kept them off
-Went to a family reunion for a second year in a row
-Voted for the 3rd time in my life!
-Planned a baby shower :)
-Got to see the triplets begin to grow up
I'm sure there is much more but I cant remember it all. This gives me hope for 2013 because so many wonderful things happened in 2012 without me even making an effort. Come next year, I will make an effort and I think it will be a good year :)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
This is the Start of Something Beautiful, This is the Start of Something New
So it happened, I am officially married now! All the planning and details and phone calls and emails all paid off. The wedding was beautiful and I had such a great time. It was truly an unforgettable experience and I am so glad that we went through with it. No regrets...
 | |
| Maurylyne & Victor 10.19.12 |
Title of post "This" by Ed Sheeran
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
After My Blood Turns Into Alcohol
The mood to write strikes when I feel down and out. At this point, I don't think it matters because I don't think anybody reads this blog anymore anyway.
There are so many exciting and life changing things that will be happening in the next few weeks and while I do feel excited and happy, I am also sad and depressed. I'm scared of change, I'm scared that I don't know what I'm doing, that I wont be ready for these changes, that I'll fail in my new role. There is so much uncertainty about everything that's gonna happen and I cant find a source of comfort or an anchor to root me in this chaos. I have never thought it possible to feel so lonely amidst so much loving and caring people that surround me. I continue to seek the support and approval of the one person who will not give it to me.
At this point, I am doubting things and it's all stacking up. I wish I could just find some stability, some relief, something familiar, something that will let me know it will all be okay. I search and search and have no clue what I'm looking for. All I know is I have yet to find it. When will I feel like I will be okay?
I feel like I have lost so much in the past year and I'm still grieving what I thought my life was gonna be like. What I wanted my life to be like, what I EXPECTED my life to be like. At what point will I accept that nothing is like it was? At what point will I be okay with the fact that things wont ever be the same? Do I have to lose myself in the process of accepting change and adapting? Or do I become a different person? Or do I simply live in a perpetual state of nostalgia? I have so many questions and don't know where to begin to find the answers I need.
Title of post is from "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
There are so many exciting and life changing things that will be happening in the next few weeks and while I do feel excited and happy, I am also sad and depressed. I'm scared of change, I'm scared that I don't know what I'm doing, that I wont be ready for these changes, that I'll fail in my new role. There is so much uncertainty about everything that's gonna happen and I cant find a source of comfort or an anchor to root me in this chaos. I have never thought it possible to feel so lonely amidst so much loving and caring people that surround me. I continue to seek the support and approval of the one person who will not give it to me.
At this point, I am doubting things and it's all stacking up. I wish I could just find some stability, some relief, something familiar, something that will let me know it will all be okay. I search and search and have no clue what I'm looking for. All I know is I have yet to find it. When will I feel like I will be okay?
I feel like I have lost so much in the past year and I'm still grieving what I thought my life was gonna be like. What I wanted my life to be like, what I EXPECTED my life to be like. At what point will I accept that nothing is like it was? At what point will I be okay with the fact that things wont ever be the same? Do I have to lose myself in the process of accepting change and adapting? Or do I become a different person? Or do I simply live in a perpetual state of nostalgia? I have so many questions and don't know where to begin to find the answers I need.
Title of post is from "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
Friday, September 21, 2012
It's Harder to Recall the Many Bad Times
Have you ever found a song that makes you sit back and think about your life? A song that makes you nostalgic, but the kind of nostalgia that you relish and want to hold on to? A song that elicits a flutter in the pit of your stomach and although you don't know what the feeling is, you want to keep it for as long as possible.
I think that moments like that are the reason music exists. Those artists that are truly talented and love what they do, chase those feelings and want to live and bask in them, which is why they make music for a living. And those same feelings are the criteria I use when I'm listening to new music. If it doesn't stir something up in me, it isn't worth my time.
Band of Horses has managed to blow me away with a few songs in each of their albums. To this day, I still claim "Infinite Arms" as my favorite song ever. We even chose it for our first dance at our wedding next month because when I first heard it, I thought of Victor and I thought of our relationship. The song made me catch my breath and it reminded me of the way Victor makes me feel and the way I feel about him. I never wanted to let go of those feelings and I still get them no matter how much I listen to this song. When I played it for him, he loved it too!
I recently experienced something grand while listening to the new Band of Horses album, Mirage Rock, for the first time. I let the whole album play on Shuffle and when the song "Long Vows" came on, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down. Its a ballad with a sort of woodsy, bluesy country rock vibe and it made me feel a level of nostalgia I have never experienced before.
I put the song on repeat and I kept getting such a strong level of longing for happier times that it bought tears to my eyes and before I knew it, I broke down and I cried for a while. It was a very necessary cry, one that was cleansing, one that bought relief, one that was long overdue because I hadn't had a good cry in so long. I have so much going on right now that I haven't had time to just sit down and think. I didn't know that I needed to let it all out and I didn't know that I needed encouragement or assurance, but I got all these things from simply listening to this song.
I heard "All that you seek/All that you set out to find/Don't let anything change your mind," and got encouragement. I heard "But blankets fall, they don't stay in place just as they were made," and realized that things change and that I have to accept it. Lastly, I heard "And no one's gonna show you the way/When it gets cold you can find yourself made/Back in the hole from which you came/And everything will fall into place." I just needed to know that when all this mayhem going on my life is done, everything will eventually fall into place and everything is gonna be okay.
At the risk of sounding cliche, this is why some people say that music changes their lives...because it does. It really, really does...
I think that moments like that are the reason music exists. Those artists that are truly talented and love what they do, chase those feelings and want to live and bask in them, which is why they make music for a living. And those same feelings are the criteria I use when I'm listening to new music. If it doesn't stir something up in me, it isn't worth my time.
Band of Horses has managed to blow me away with a few songs in each of their albums. To this day, I still claim "Infinite Arms" as my favorite song ever. We even chose it for our first dance at our wedding next month because when I first heard it, I thought of Victor and I thought of our relationship. The song made me catch my breath and it reminded me of the way Victor makes me feel and the way I feel about him. I never wanted to let go of those feelings and I still get them no matter how much I listen to this song. When I played it for him, he loved it too! I recently experienced something grand while listening to the new Band of Horses album, Mirage Rock, for the first time. I let the whole album play on Shuffle and when the song "Long Vows" came on, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down. Its a ballad with a sort of woodsy, bluesy country rock vibe and it made me feel a level of nostalgia I have never experienced before.
I put the song on repeat and I kept getting such a strong level of longing for happier times that it bought tears to my eyes and before I knew it, I broke down and I cried for a while. It was a very necessary cry, one that was cleansing, one that bought relief, one that was long overdue because I hadn't had a good cry in so long. I have so much going on right now that I haven't had time to just sit down and think. I didn't know that I needed to let it all out and I didn't know that I needed encouragement or assurance, but I got all these things from simply listening to this song.
I heard "All that you seek/All that you set out to find/Don't let anything change your mind," and got encouragement. I heard "But blankets fall, they don't stay in place just as they were made," and realized that things change and that I have to accept it. Lastly, I heard "And no one's gonna show you the way/When it gets cold you can find yourself made/Back in the hole from which you came/And everything will fall into place." I just needed to know that when all this mayhem going on my life is done, everything will eventually fall into place and everything is gonna be okay.
At the risk of sounding cliche, this is why some people say that music changes their lives...because it does. It really, really does...
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Seasons Come and Seasons Go
Wow, I have truly neglected this blog. I don't write nearly as much as I did when I first started this thing. I guess life has gotten way busier since then and also, I don't really have followers so there isnt anybody waiting for a post from me. I write for myself really
I really don't have much to update since my life has been pretty consistent the past several months. I swim in the stress of work, planning my wedding, family time, new obsessions and just the everyday things in life. I am still continuing my healthier lifestyle and couldn't be happier about it. I am seeing results and I feel good everyday, despite my lack of sleep.
Also, fall is upon is. This is my most favorite, favorite time of year. I absolutely love everything about the fall..the colors, scents, food, fashion, weather, everything. I remember I used to make lists on things to accomplish/do with every season. I think I'm gonna start doing that again, with my fall list being the first one. So here is the list I came up with of things to do this season:
Is it sad that I am most excited about #3 and #10?
I really don't have much to update since my life has been pretty consistent the past several months. I swim in the stress of work, planning my wedding, family time, new obsessions and just the everyday things in life. I am still continuing my healthier lifestyle and couldn't be happier about it. I am seeing results and I feel good everyday, despite my lack of sleep.
Also, fall is upon is. This is my most favorite, favorite time of year. I absolutely love everything about the fall..the colors, scents, food, fashion, weather, everything. I remember I used to make lists on things to accomplish/do with every season. I think I'm gonna start doing that again, with my fall list being the first one. So here is the list I came up with of things to do this season:
1. Apple picking
2. Infuse fall scents into my home (pumpkin, apple, cinnamon)
3. Pumpkin coffee/lattes
4. Take more walks
5. Museum visits
6. Get fall fashion items (boots, jackets, sweaters,etc)
7. Try a new fall inspired recipe (pumpkin, apples, etc)
8. Fall cleaning/apartment makeover
9. Crochet a new hat/scarf for the coming winter
10. Watch new seasons of The Vampire Diaries, The Walking Dead and Dexter!
Is it sad that I am most excited about #3 and #10?
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Alterations
About 5 weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers. I realized that my wedding date was approaching fast and I was not finding the motivation I needed to get into the shape I would be happy in for my wedding. I needed some sort of guidance, schedule, a checkpoint or something so I decided to try Weight Watchers.
It has been the best decision I have made as far as healthy living/weight loss goes. It's so easy, a first grader could do it. You just put in your current weight, your goal weight and the amount of time you want to lose the weight in. Then they calculate how many "points" you can eat per day in order to achieve your weight loss goal.
The point system is really so simple and effective. Virtually anything you eat can be found in the points database and instead of counting calories, fat grams, sodium, etc, you simply count points. So for example, I am allowed 30 points per day (points vary on the amount of weight you want to lose and the amount of time you have.) All fruits and vegetables have no points, so you could eat them all day and they don't count towards your daily count.
Now, I will admit that 30 points per day is NOT a lot of points at all. I could easily eat 12 points in just one meal (medium french fries are 11 points, Chinese food is easily 25 points, 4 chicken nuggets is 6 points, medium Hagen daze sorbet is 12 points, see where I'm going?) On a healthier note, a 6 oz container of Chobani Greek Yogurt is 4 points alone, so I have to plan out what I eat well and I have to incorporate a lot of fruits and veggies in my day so that I stay satisfied and full.
In addition to your daily points, you get a number of plus points to spread out during the week. So basically they are like cheat points in case you go out that week and eat a little extra or something like that. I have an additional 49 points per week, so basically 7 extra points per day. I am proud to say that I have never used my entire 49 points in the weeks I have been doing this. Some days I go over my 30 by a few points, and on the weekends I use up a few as well, but I try not to use the plus points at all.
Let me tell you that it has been a lot easier than it sounds. At first, I struggled to stay within my 30 daily points and I felt like nothing satisfied me. I was frustrated because I wanted to eat fries like everyone else was but I knew that if I did, I would have to eat fruits the rest of the day. I was not happy at all, but at some point between week 1 and now currently week 5, something changed. I subconsciously started making healthier food choices, even when I was going out to eat.
I no longer crave or desire greasy fast food anymore. I find myself looking forward to eating that peach or my spinach salad. Once in a while, I want something sweet or fatty and I'll take one or two spoonfuls of ice cream or cake. If I really, really crave something, I'll just eat it and adjust the rest of my day accordingly. I dont feel deprived, I NEVER feel hungry and even when I just have the munchies, I still make healthy food choices. It's crazy because it's like I dont even know who I am anymore lol. I have been able to sit with a group of people eating salad or drinking water, while they all eat a hot fudge brownie or a slice of pizza and I have been okay. Once you get over those initial 2 weeks, things get so much easier. Your cravings are controlled and eating healthy becomes a habit, not a chore.
Weight Watchers works, I have watched my body change in just 5 weeks. I have lost a total of about 15lbs in 5 weeks, without doing intensive workouts (actually I barely work out at all to be honest.) I have consistently lost 2-3lbs every week, so I know it's healthy weight loss that I will not allow to come back. I am going to start a workout routine since I only have 2 months left til the wedding and I'm sure this will tone me up and help with even more weight loss.
A few days ago, I tried on my wedding dress. When I purchased it in May, it was very tight, especially in the hip area. My stomach was permanently sucked in while wearing the dress and I never dared to try and sit down while wearing it because it was just so tight. When I tried on the same dress a few days ago, it wouldn't even stay on! I had to hold the dress up on me so it wouldn't slip and I have so much more room in my hips. The dress is so much more flattering on me now and I cant wait to see how much better it will look when I finish losing these 30 lbs!!
It has been the best decision I have made as far as healthy living/weight loss goes. It's so easy, a first grader could do it. You just put in your current weight, your goal weight and the amount of time you want to lose the weight in. Then they calculate how many "points" you can eat per day in order to achieve your weight loss goal.
The point system is really so simple and effective. Virtually anything you eat can be found in the points database and instead of counting calories, fat grams, sodium, etc, you simply count points. So for example, I am allowed 30 points per day (points vary on the amount of weight you want to lose and the amount of time you have.) All fruits and vegetables have no points, so you could eat them all day and they don't count towards your daily count.
Now, I will admit that 30 points per day is NOT a lot of points at all. I could easily eat 12 points in just one meal (medium french fries are 11 points, Chinese food is easily 25 points, 4 chicken nuggets is 6 points, medium Hagen daze sorbet is 12 points, see where I'm going?) On a healthier note, a 6 oz container of Chobani Greek Yogurt is 4 points alone, so I have to plan out what I eat well and I have to incorporate a lot of fruits and veggies in my day so that I stay satisfied and full.
In addition to your daily points, you get a number of plus points to spread out during the week. So basically they are like cheat points in case you go out that week and eat a little extra or something like that. I have an additional 49 points per week, so basically 7 extra points per day. I am proud to say that I have never used my entire 49 points in the weeks I have been doing this. Some days I go over my 30 by a few points, and on the weekends I use up a few as well, but I try not to use the plus points at all.
Let me tell you that it has been a lot easier than it sounds. At first, I struggled to stay within my 30 daily points and I felt like nothing satisfied me. I was frustrated because I wanted to eat fries like everyone else was but I knew that if I did, I would have to eat fruits the rest of the day. I was not happy at all, but at some point between week 1 and now currently week 5, something changed. I subconsciously started making healthier food choices, even when I was going out to eat.
I no longer crave or desire greasy fast food anymore. I find myself looking forward to eating that peach or my spinach salad. Once in a while, I want something sweet or fatty and I'll take one or two spoonfuls of ice cream or cake. If I really, really crave something, I'll just eat it and adjust the rest of my day accordingly. I dont feel deprived, I NEVER feel hungry and even when I just have the munchies, I still make healthy food choices. It's crazy because it's like I dont even know who I am anymore lol. I have been able to sit with a group of people eating salad or drinking water, while they all eat a hot fudge brownie or a slice of pizza and I have been okay. Once you get over those initial 2 weeks, things get so much easier. Your cravings are controlled and eating healthy becomes a habit, not a chore.
Weight Watchers works, I have watched my body change in just 5 weeks. I have lost a total of about 15lbs in 5 weeks, without doing intensive workouts (actually I barely work out at all to be honest.) I have consistently lost 2-3lbs every week, so I know it's healthy weight loss that I will not allow to come back. I am going to start a workout routine since I only have 2 months left til the wedding and I'm sure this will tone me up and help with even more weight loss.
A few days ago, I tried on my wedding dress. When I purchased it in May, it was very tight, especially in the hip area. My stomach was permanently sucked in while wearing the dress and I never dared to try and sit down while wearing it because it was just so tight. When I tried on the same dress a few days ago, it wouldn't even stay on! I had to hold the dress up on me so it wouldn't slip and I have so much more room in my hips. The dress is so much more flattering on me now and I cant wait to see how much better it will look when I finish losing these 30 lbs!!
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