Anyone Else But You

When I started this blog, I didnt tell my boyfriend about it. There was no particular reason for this. Im not writing anything that I dont want him to know or that he doesnt already know. I guess I just wanted to have something to myself, but then I realized that I am sharing this with everyone in the world that happens to stumble upon it. So, essentially, its not very personal.

He found out about it a few days ago and I cant tell if he was upset about it or not. I guess he felt I was keeping something from him, which I am not. I debated whether I should let him read it and then I decided that I will. This could be a good way for my boyfriend to understand the things that go through my head. Sometimes its difficult for me to talk about what I feel or what Im thinking. I find its a lot easier to write about it and I always feel better after I do. This could also be a way for me to tell him the things I cannot say to him, to let him know how I really feel about things.
In 4 days, we will make 5 years of being together. They have not been a passive or a perfect 5 years. They have been a tumultous, difficult, stressful, and bipolar set of 5 years but I would do them all over again if they lead to where we are now. I have grown up with him and become the very different person I am now. He has been with me through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. He has NEVER tried to change me into something I am not. He has always accepted me, never judged me, never made me feel bad about myself, and he has never put me down.
He is my polar opposite who in some ways is too good for me. He has the most genuine and kind heart I have ever encountered. He is understanding and kind. He is passionate about the smallest, unimportant things and the grandest things. He can piss me off but make me smile with a funny face or dance move or word. He is shy, reserved, he mumbles, and is almost anti-social. He is indifferent and insecure but strong and beautiful all at once.
He is troubled, has issues, is both sensitve and angry. He explains things thoroughly and takes forever to get to the point. Sometimes I dont understand him, and neither does he. He is different and so am I. He is not perfect, but neither am I. But in our imperfection, we are both perfect.

And I dont see what anyone can see in anyone else but you

Michael Cera and Ellen Page version from "Juno"