Where The Light Is

I have been a bit obsessed with John Mayer lately. Although he is the founder and president of all douchebags, his music is incredible. I am able to separate a person from their talent/craft (Kanye West is another example) so John Mayer's douchy comments and qualities do not affect the way I view or feel about his music.

I mean the guy has been making music for years now and has won several Grammy's and released numerous albums, so the talent is certainly there. His albums are pretty mellow and slightly upbeat. He can come up with some pretty awesome and clever lyrics that really stick with you, and he plays the guitar very well. One of my favorite John Mayer songs is "Gravity." The guitar break in this song is amazing...I mean it literally sounds like it's crying. Its incredibly captivating.

So here's to you John Mayer, a very talented asshat

And I'll Do Anything For a Klondike

I love cover songs. They are the best...especially when rock artists cover hip hop songs. I just discovered that 30 Seconds to Mars covered "Stronger" by Kanye West. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't hate it, but I don't love it. What do you think? Check it out...

You Could Be The One I'll Always Love

I have recently discovered that maybe love does exist after all

Title post is "Unintended" by Muse

Blue Valentine

I saw the movie "Blue Valentine" yesterday. I had been wanting to see it since I heard rave reviews when it premiered a few weeks ago. I, being an avid supporter and watcher of all independent films, am very interested in indie movies with great reviews.

Ryan Gosling, which is one of my favorite actors, is the star of the film along with Michelle Williams. This movie was the most beautiful, tragically realistic movie I have ever seen. It is about a relationship between two people that love each other but somehow grew apart. They switch back and forth between the current state of their relationship and how it begun. This movie depicts ordinary family life, an ordinary relationship, ordinary people...there is not really a plot to this movie, no climax, it is just the lives of two people who fell in love and who are struggling to stay there.

Their love story is not one that has not been seen or heard of before. Their relationship is nothing new but it is so refreshing to watch a true love story, not some fairy tale Disney movie. And that is the crazy thing about this movie, although everything in normal, it is depicted so realistically that its like you are seeing things for the first time...really seeing things. It sucks you in and makes you relate because it might not have happened to you, but you know someone who has gone through what you are watching. I think that makes this movie absolutely brilliant.

This movie made me laugh and it made me cry...and I do NOT cry when watching movies EVER because I know that it is a movie. It is not really happening. But I had big, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. It hit so close to home in so many aspects and in so many little scenes. It got me thinking about so many things, like is falling out of love is inevitable? If that is the case, then do we really fall in love? How do I know I wont end up like them in the future? Does love really last or do people just end up faking it? Why does time end up destroying love?

Does love exist at all?

I Know Exactly Where I Wanna Be

One of my New Year's resolutions was that I was going to treat myself better. I decided that I am gonna splurge when it comes to using beauty products. From now on, I am gonna get the best products there are and I am not gonna worry about the price. This is gonna be my gift to myself. Just a little something to pick me up.

One of the things that I splurged on was soap. Anthropologie sells an organic soap made in France and it is one of the best things I have ever used on my skin. It only comes in a few scents and so far my favorite is Verbane. It has a very fresh, lemony fragrance and it is made from organic shea butter and olive oil so my skin is so smooth, lotion is not even necessary. In fact, it has gotten rid of some dry spots I tend to get on my arms in the winter. I absolutely love, love, love this soap. It is definitely a splurge because one bar i $7.00 but it is sooooo worth it.

I am really happy that I fought through the desire to say "$7.00!! That is way too much for soap! I have rent to pay!" and I actually did this for myself :)

Title of Post is from "My Second Restraining Order" by I Am The Avalanche

Operation Beautiful

As I have mentioned before, with this new year, I have started a process of re-creating myself. I am doing everything I can to be healthy in every possible way. I was directed to a great site by someone very special to me who is also embarking on a journey to being healthy and I want to pass along this info.

The website is called Operation Beautiful and here is the mission:

The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically

So basically what they do is that women all over the world leave post it notes with positive messages in random places for other people to find. It is a way to reinforce positive thinking. Although we might not think highly of ourselves, there are others out there that do. Sometimes all we need is a little reassurance or just a random act of kindness to give us the strenght to keep going.

I love this idea and I will definitely be participating in it. I plan on carrying a small pack of post it notes and just leaving them wherever someone would least expect to find a message.

Here are some of the messages I plan to leave:

Mis Lagrimas Hacen Un Mar

Anyone remember Enrique Iglesias when he first came out and only sang in Spanish? One of his songs was the theme song to a novela that my Mom used to watch. It's a really beautiful song and I woke up singing it this morning for some strange reason. I remember my sister and me having the biggest crush on him because of this song too.

Those were the days....Here is "Si Tu Te Vas"

It's All The Little Things

I came across a really awesome blog on tumblr. It's called "little things." The blog owner has a list of all the simple, little things that make life a bit easier to live. She has some really good ones there that put a smile on my face and even some that brought tears to my eyes.

Some of my faves were:

If you get the chance, check out her blog and see if any of the little things in her list make you smile...or cry.

Journey

Then I am neither free, nor happy but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get there...

pic is from twentythree :

Not So Happy New Year

I purposely chose not to do a 2010 recap. I have several reasons for it but it is mostly because I have not been feeling well emotionally and mentally. I have been in a funk and I cannot seem to find a light.

A lot of great things happened in 2010 and I am very grateful for all the little things that make life worth living. However, a lot of unnecessary drama occurred the last two weeks of the year that have made me bitter. I have had much worse years in my life but I have also had much better years.

I know that I should not start 2011 on such a bitter note but I cannot help it. I need some time to come to terms with things and find a way to swim. I have so many things to be upset about but I also have so many things to be happy about. In the spirit of being cliche, I do have a very short list of goals that I want to accomplish for 2011. Here they are:

1. Find physical, mental and emotional well being--
-meaning lose weight, stop being miserable, and just generally smile more often. I also want to take better care of my skin and my hair, take vitamins, use good quality, organic products like soap, lotion, start using make up. I want to generally improve my outer appearance as well as my inner one.

2. Take more risks--
-do the things I hold myself back from because I am not comfortable or because I am scared

3. Live for myself--
-stop putting others first and focus on myself and my needs. I have learned that nobody else is gonna put me first but me.

4. Find happiness in my career...or find another career--
-self explanatory...I hate my job

5. Accomplish one life long, unrealistic dream, big or small--
-I want to convince myself that dreams do come true, no matter how ridiculous they may seem

I look forward to putting 2010 behind and moving on. I want this to be the year where things finally start to make sense for me. I want this to be the year where I can finally say I am happy.