Well I Guess It Just Suggests That This is Just What Happiness Is

I feel like doing something crazy. I have all this pent up anxiety/energy and I am compelled to do something out of the ordinary, only my ordinary brain has no clue what that could be.

My happiness was short lived and I'm back to my usual misery, although I do feel content and I am in a pretty good mood despite feeling like I am going to explode with anxiousness. I wish I could just go into the middle of a field and just yell at the top of my lungs for no good reason. Or maybe climb up a mountain and just stare into the horizon for an undetermined amount of time. Or drive accross the United States with no real purpose or direction.

I dont know what the hell is wrong with me

Usually, all I want to do is lay down and lose consciousness until the next day comes, but right now I feel like doing activities. The last thing I want to do is sit in my chair infront of this computer all day long. Im attributing my new found attitude to the fact that I have been consistently working out for the past 3 weeks. Maybe its true what they say...that exercising gives you more energy and you just generally feel better. Maybe all this exercise has started a flow of dopamine and endorphins in my brain, which had stopped due to my lack of activity.

Im gonna be proactive today. I have a shit load of things that I constantly put off (like making a doctors appt, requesting a new insurance card, canceling unused credit cards, etc) that I think I am going to do today. Then I'll head to the gym after work. Sadly or fortunately, depends on how you look at it, these little things actually bring me joy.


Title post is lyric from "Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz. LOVE LOVE LOVE this song