With age and experience, I have realized that you are not the person I have always thought you were. Looking back over the years, I see things that I was so oblivious to simply because I looked up to you. You were the strongest, wisest person I knew. You were someone I wanted to be like when I grew up.
Now that I am grown up, I am actively working on being the total opposite of you. It angers me that all this time, I had no clue about anything but yet it also saddens me because I dont think you have a clue either. You have hurt me in so many ways and it has taken me so many years to realize and accept. Every day I see something about you that I dont like. Everyday I notice something new about you that was right there all along and I just chose to ignore it.
But I cannot ignore these things any longer. The truth is that while you may be strong in your own way, you are a manipulative, selfish, controlling, self loathing, overbearing, negative and pessimistic person. You have influenced my entire life and my way of being. You have instilled in me all the qualities that I never wished to possess. You robbed me of my youth and of childhood experiences all because you needed someone to be there for you. I was never meant to be your friend. I was never meant to bear your burden. I was never meant to feel your pain but I had no choice because I didnt know any better back then.
However, I know better now and I will no longer continue to bear the brunt of your problems. I will no longer carry your issues on my shoulders. I will no longer continue to parent you, the way you should have done to me. I am forcing you to grow up and accept responsibilities for your own actions, suffer the consequences of your actions and accept the fact that you are far from perfect. I will no longer make decisions for you, so that when things go wrong you have someone else to blame. I will not suffer for your mistakes.
I love you more than words could describe and I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens, but I cannot allow you to continue to force me to live for you and only you. I have to live for myself and you cant and wont make me feel guilty about it anymore.
Yours Truly,
Maurylyne
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